Avery

~17~

Am I a horrible person for ignoring Adam? Absolutely.

Am I convincing myself it's for his sake and not mine? Most certainly.

In reality, it's a cruel, mashed-up mixture of self-preservation and self-destruction.

The whole long-distance idea never sat well with me, maybe it's a deep-rooted fear.

I do miss him, as any person with a brain cell who had seen that man would.

He's busy, I'm busy, maybe it's just not and never will be the right time for us.

A loud bang abruptly breaks my daydreaming.

"Hey!" 

Someones fingers then snap in front of my face.

My eyes are drawn then to the person belonging to said hand and their rather angry expression.

"This is horrid, I mean, who would ever eat this?" He scowls down at the muffin he bought less than a minute ago.

"I apologise, sir, what exactly is wrong with it?" I put on my very best customer service smile.

"Too sweet." He drops it infront of me on the counter and I stare down at the layer of crumbs now coatiing it.

"It is a blueberry and rasberry muffin. With fresh sweet cream on top." I gaze up at him, holding my smile the best I can, "Maybe that just wasn't the right choice for someone without a sweet tooth."

"Don't you blame this on me."

He jabs a finger at me pointedly, then shakes his head and walks away, muttering something about kids these days under his breath.

A day or two after Adam left, I dug into my savings to replace the windows and the bakery is back, mostly, as it was.

Me however, bankrupt.

When I look around the bakery, I don't think about any of the people sat in it, or any of the issues we had before.

I think of the conversations me and him had in that exact spot, or when we kissed here.

I wipe my clammy palms on the apron tied snug around my waist and watch the last customers stroll out, the woman throwing her head back laughing as the other throws his arm over her shoulders lazily.

They toss their empty take out cups in the bin by the door and spare me a thankful look and wave.

It's been just over a week since Adam left and he's text me pretty much every day, asking for some sort of communication back, but the 9 foot wall blocking my heart from the world is stopping me.

I turn the key in the lock and start cleaning.

In the back of my head, I'm secretly hoping that every face that passes on the street is him.

But I'll never admit that out loud.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Poppy, I really don't know how you expect me to fix mine and Dad's relationship when he won't even utter a word to me."

I rub a tired hand down my face, the other holds the phone to my ear.

"Just come over for dinner again tonight, he's been doing better lately, you might be able to actually have a conversation."

"Doubt it."

I know it's selfish, he lost the love of his life, but he isn't the only one who lost something and now all of us are losing him.

I hear Will saying something in the background, then Poppy's agitated voice follows, then the line goes dead.

A ghost of a smile washes my face.

It has been 10 days with no contact with Adam and I wish I could say it's getting easier.

Truth is, it's the opposite.

I lock the bakery behind me and stroll towards Dad's house, a paper back of chocolate chip cookies sitting in my grasp.

After what feels like a never ending walk after a full day of work, I find myself ringing a doorbell.

"Will." I breathe out, relieved it's him and no one else answering the door.

He beams down at me and wraps me in his arms.

"I'll be honest, kid, I didn't think you were coming."

I laugh at him.

"You can't call someone years older than you 'kid'"

We walk into the dining area and I look over to Dad, who looks surprisingly well.

His hair is combed and styled neatly and he's wearing one of his countless polo shirts.

The corners of his lips tilt, for the first time in years.

It's slight, but it's a moment we share.

He gestures towards the seat next to Poppy and she smiles up at me, kicking it out slightly with her foot.

Before I know it, everyone is talking and laughing and raising glasses.

But I can't tear my eyes off the empty seat opposite me.

I picture her sat there, laughing as she preaches table ettiquette that even she doesn't abide to.

She slides me a wine glass with a wink, I take a sip. Cranberry juice.

I used to hate feeling left out, she always included us kids.

I watch her sneaky glances to Dad and their shared looks.

A gentle hand on my back breaks my daze and I zone into the conversation.

"Isn't that right, Avery?" Poppy dips her head and smiles.

"Uh, yeah. Of course." 

"Since when?" Dad shoots me a look and I realise I have no idea what I agreed with.

"Not long surely. I only saw the 2 of you 2 weeks ago or so."

Huh.

"You know, you and that guy?"

Realisation dawns over me and I close my eyes.

"Um, actually, he moved away so we mutually decided to just break it off before things got serious."

The mood immediately drops and solemn looks surround the table.

"Guys, it's not a big deal, we barely even knew each other, it was nothing important or even serious yet."

"Yet? So you saw it going somewhere?" Will raises a single eyebrow at me and smirks.

"Lets just drop it, okay?" I laugh and straighten my skirt across my thighs

"I kind of liked the idea of someone taking care of you while I couldn't..well can't." Dad mutters before looking down into his lap, probably messing with his wedding ring like he does.

I don't look up and pray for someone to change the topic.

"Oh my god, Dad, you remember Summer from my AP Biology class? She's pregnant! Isn't that so crazy like-"

I let her voice mingle with the hum of music from the radio until it becomes one.

I quickly check my phone and see a message from Adam, again.

Avery please, you're killing me.

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HEY GUYS!!! im literally so busy right now and not being able to write makes me so sad :[

Getting back to it though