Heart at risk

9. Fighting in only your army,

Penelope woke up back in her own house with Colin. It was serene and comforting. While staying at her mother's had been lovely, she was relieved to be back in her own space. Colin was staying in his room, and she was in hers. They both needed their own space for now; sharing wasn't something either of them was ready for yet.

As she descended the stairs, she was greeted by an unexpected smell wafting through the house—something far from pleasant. Her curiosity led her to the kitchen, where she found Colin and Rae. Colin, looking unusually cheerful, was standing next to a rather dubious-looking spread of food.

'Good morning,' she said, her brow furrowing as she took in the sight of the spread. 'What is all this?' Colin turned with a bright smile, clearly pleased with himself. 'Good morning. This is breakfast. It is what Daphne recommended. She said it is good for managing nausea.'

She glanced at the assortment of foods—crackers with pickles, a bowl of bland oatmeal, and a concoction of mashed avocado and tuna. Her face betrayed her surprise. 'Daphne recommended this?' Colin nodded enthusiastically. 'Yes, she has been a huge help with advice.'

She glanced at Rae, who was observing the scene with a hint of amusement and understanding, as if she was used to this sort of thing. There was a tension she couldn't ignore, especially given Colin's sudden burst of cheerfulness.

'This is... definitely different,' she said, struggling to hide her bemusement. 'I did not realize you had gone through so much trouble.' Colin's hand went to gently rest on her arm, his smile unwavering but slightly forced. 'I just want to make sure you are comfortable. How are you feeling today? Is there anything else you need?'

She studied his face, noting the stark contrast between his current mood and the tension that had been present recently. 'I am fine, just a bit confused by the sudden enthusiasm.' Colin's smile faltered slightly, a flicker of uncertainty passing over his face. 'Sudden enthusiasm?'

She tried to maintain her composure, though uncertainty lingered beneath her calm exterior. Colin's expression softened, and he took a deep breath. 'You are with child. Is that not something to be excited about?' She nodded, forcing a smile. 'Yes, of course. It is exciting.' But beneath her calm facade, she was unsure. The sudden shift in Colin's demeanor and the pressure to feel enthusiastic felt overwhelming.

'I just do not understand this sudden change in you? Have you forgotten everything that has transpired?' Colin was taken aback, his eyes widening with a mix of surprise and understanding. He looked down, running a hand through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts. 'I... I see your point. I did not mean to come off as though I am ignoring the past. I thought that focusing on the positive might help us both, but I can see now that it is not that simple.'

He stepped closer, his expression earnest but tinged with resignation. 'I realize that gestures like this cannot erase what has happened.' She took a deep breath, her voice steady but carrying a hint of the emotion she was holding back. 'So you accept that I am Whistledown? Do you now understand why I wrote what I wrote?'

Colin's face fell, a look of disappointment clouding his eyes. He hesitated, his voice barely a whisper. 'No, not exactly.' Penelope's heart sank. She had hoped that Colin's recent efforts were a sign of understanding, but his response made it clear that there were still gaps in their communication. The weight of their unresolved issues hung heavily in the air, making her wonder how they could move forward when some aspects of their past remained unaddressed.

Colin took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. 'I am trying, Penelope. I want to understand, but I...' Penelope nodded slowly, her expression a mix of sadness and determination. 'I see,' she said, her voice heavy with emotion. Colin's face grew shadowed with regret. He took a deep breath, his gaze filled with an earnest resolve. 'I am not apologizing for not understanding it yet,' he said slowly, his voice steady. 'But I am deeply apologizing for not listening to you, for refusing to listen when you needed me to.'