The Depps (Short Stories and One Shots)

The Britain, the Caribbean, and the American

The reference I used to make this short story cuz I thought it was funny and that this would actually happen.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNb1P6SN/

(Characters involved are in the pictures up top including Katrina and Ichabod Crane from Sleepy Hollow 1999. ENJOY!!!!!)
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Now picture this.... If almost every character Johnny Depp has ever done lived under the same roof... How chaotic would it be? To answer that question, VERY VERY VERY CHAOTIC. Especially if some of them are either huge alcoholics, statistic psychopathic murderers, or just plain bat sh*t crazy. This short story is a perfect example of that, showing just how chaotic they can be.

Our story opens up in a large house that was known as "The Depp House" to the neighborhood, where most of the characters Depp ever played as lived. In the house, a certain rum addicted pirate know as Jack Sparrow was sitting on the couch, holding a bottle of rum, visibly depressed. Which didn't go unnoticed by a certain timid British 19 year old named Victor Van Dort. Feeling pity on the poor man, he went to talk to him.

VD: "Sparrow, why are you sprawled out on the couch?" *He asked, a bit concerned for Jack's wellbeing.*

JS: "Life has lost its spice me hearty..." *Jack uttered out depressingly, taking a swig of rum.*

VD: "You're talking about undergarments or in your words 'panties', aren't you?" *Victor sighed, knowing the pirate too well.*

JS: "I have completely panty raided every lasses closet across the Caribbean and in this neighborhood TWICE! I need somethin' new to walk through that door lad!" *The pirate exclaimed, frustrated and desperate for something new and some new panties to steal.*

VD: "Alright, I'm going to be bold right now and tempt fate here and say... YOU CANNOT JUST EXPECT A NEW LADY TO JUST WALK INTO YOUR SAD DRUNKEN LI-" *Victor announced until he was interrupted by something he didn't expect.*

Kat: "Hello! Can someone help me please?" *A young woman the two men have never met before walked into the living room.*

The two men just stayed where they were in silence as Victor looked at the woman before reverting his site to the pirate stilled on the couch. Sparrow looked back at the young adult before averting his vision to the young woman with a glint in his eye that Victor knew meant trouble.

JS: "ME BOOTY!" *The pirate yelled out as he went to try and steal the woman's underwear, but was stopped by the skinny man.*

VD: "NO!!!!" *The 19 year old exclaimed, tackling the pirate to the ground.*

Kat: "I'm a little lost and would like someone to give me directions." *The young woman uttered, completely oblivious about the two men having a tussle close by to her.*

VD: "PLEASE DON'T DO IT JACK! SHE'S FROM THE 19TH CENTURY! THE PEOPLE FROM THAT ERA WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!!" *Victor announced, holding the desperate pirate back with a surprising large amount of strength from his skinny body.*

JS: "I CAN'T GET WHAT I'VE NEVER DESERVED VICTOR!!!" *Sparrow retorted back, struggling to get out of the young man's strong grip.*

Kat: "I honestly don't really care who helps me. I'm abroad and highly impressionable." *She uttered, still oblivious about what was happening right next to her.*

VD: "YOU ARE MAKING ME DO THIS! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!" *The timid man cried out as he punched the hell out of the perverted pirate to keep him away from the woman.*

IC: "Katrina! You made it!" *A older man from the same century as Katrina named Ichabod Crane walked in, introducing the young maiden.*

Kat: "Ichabod! You're the first person I've seen in this house and my closest friend, so you get a hug." *She said happily, hugging the older man with joy as he hugged back with joy as well. Meanwhile....*

JS: "Gimme! Gimme...." *Jack struggled out, having a hard time breathing due to him being in a chokehold.*

VD: "I'm truly sorry for this, but it's for your own good." *Victor apologized as he held Sparrow in an impressive chokehold for his skinny stature.*

IC: "I don't really have anything planned, but we can go up to my bedroom and read some books or play a game of chess while having some tea if you want."

Kat: "Of course. But shouldn't we ask if anyone else wants to join us?"

Meanwhile, Victor was hiding behind a wall down a hallway as he held Sparrow there with his hand covering the pirate's mouth, trying to silence him.

IC: "Alright then, let's ask. If anyone would like to join Katrina and I in my bedroom to read books or play chess, speak now or forever hold your peace."

JS: *LOUD MUFFLED SCREAMS OF DESPERATE*

Kat: "Did you hear something?"

IC: "......Nope!" *He lied, knowing who it came from and he really didn't want the pirate to cause trouble like he always does.*

JS: *Muffled cries of depression*

IC: "Oh well, let's head to my bedroom."

Kat: "Alright. By the way, should I have done something about the skinny young man beating the old looking pirate man?" *She asked, a bit concerned.*

IC: "No, that's just a average Thursday, you're fine." *The older man quickly explained before taking her to his room as Victor sighed in relief while Jack cried in defeat. Well... The famous Jack Sparrow can't get them all.*
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DONE! HOPE U GUYS LIKED THIS CUZ I THINK THIS WAS FUNNY AND HIGHLY ACCURATE!

Sorry if some of the wording is weird. I was trying to get it to sound like what the characters would actually say based on their religion and where they're from. I also reworded some of it so it doesn't completely look like a copy of the video I referenced it off of.

ANYWAYS, SEE U GUYS IN THE NEXT ONE AND BYE BYE!!!👋👋👋