No Control

Starting Tour

I slip out from under my blankets and walk down the stairs, "hey babe" Connor smiles, Pushing a plate of pancakes towards me "I made you breakfast" I smile a little "thanks Con" he hands me a fork "about last night-" he starts. I put my hand up "it's okay Connor" I sigh "really?" he smiles "yeah, just don't don't do it again" I say hugging him "I promise" he assures me "you might want to cover that up" he gestures to my face "yeah maybe" I respond

After breakfast I head upstairs to hide my bruise, I've gotten used to covering bruises. It wasn't really Connor's fault, he grew up in a messed up family. He only hit me when I made him mad, but what was I going to do? I needed to do this, I had to do this. This is the only way I could make a career out of singing. Even if it meant breaking up with him.

"either you let me go or we are breaking up" I hope he can't hear my voice falter, "We talked about this" he snaps "I'm sorry Connor" I sigh "we're done" My voice shakes a little, "YOu can't do this!" he roars "I was there for you!! I was there for you when your parents died!!!" I shake "I need to do this Connor" I falter a little "I wanted you when no one did! NO ONE!" he screams at me, I start to shake "I have to" I say, he throws the glass he's holding. "I'm going upstairs" I shudder, next thing I know he's punching me "Connor please" I sob as he throws me to the ground "CONNOR" I plead

I pull myself out of bed, My whole body aches. I am very careful not to wake Connor, I throw my stuff into a bag and head for the door. My flight was tomorrow to england, I could make it out before Connor found me missing, I grabbed all my clothes and shove it into my suitcase. Connor was right in a way, He was the only one who stuck by me when my parent died. Stuck by me when I went into sober living for a year, and stuck by me when I had no where to live. He didn't always hit me, He loves me. I hesitate at the door. I take a deep breath, If I don't leave now I don't know if I ever will. 

I check my watch, 5:16. The boys will be here in 20 minutes, okay I can do this, I can do this. I assure my self sitting down on the airports hard seats. I packed in a haste so I will probably need a few things in the stores when we arrive. "Emma!" I turn to see Niall running towards me "hey Niall" I smile hugging him "why are you here so early?" he asks "oh just excited" I respond. two rounds of security and a baggade check later and all 6 of us are on the plane, for once i'm glad my phones on airplane mode so I don't get all of Connors messages. 

After we land my phone starts dinging none stop, "whos that?" Zayne asks "no one important" I silence my phone. "Does anyone want snacks?!" Niall asks "sure" I smile, Niall looks over at Zayne "Naw mate" he shakes his head "here" Niall hands me a bag of chips "Crisps" he smiles. 

"here" our manager opens the door to a hotel room "You and Harry will be in here" she says "Why can't Lou and I bunk together" he protests "Yeah" Louis whines "sorry, mangement has to adress the *Rumors*" she says dryly "this isn't your first tour you know the drill" she turns and walks away "Bitch" Harry snaps after she leaves Louis sighs "the media can't handle best mates anymore" "Just switch with me?" I offer "your bunking with Zayne right?" Louis nods "yeah, I'll just go with Zayne" I decide, Louis nods in appreciation "thanks Emma" 

"so" Zayne starts "who was calling you earlier?" he asks "just my boyfriend" I correct myself "ex"   "oh sorry" Zayne says "it's okay, he just didn't want me to come so we broke up" I explain, Zayne and I talk a little before he fell asleep.

I crept into the bathroom and wiped off my makeup revealing the bruise on my cheek "they're going to see this when they do my makeup" I realize, I'll just makeup an excuse fo that. Falling down the stairs, baseball, I know the drill. I pull up my shirt, these might be harder to explain. My stomach is lined with black and blue bruises "ouch" I winch prodding it gently, I reaply my makeup. Sleeping in makeup can't be that bad, right?