The Prince or the Crown

chapter nineteen

As I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, my mind couldn't stop wandering to Kavek in the room beside me. I kept touching my lips as if I could still feel his kiss, the confession I'd felt in his touch.

I rolled over on my side. I could never live in this palace with Azmir if Kavek was still right across the hall. And maybe it was just a schoolgirl crush, but I knew I would always be wondering. I would never be able to live in peace. It wasn't fair to Azmir. It wasn't fair to me.

And plus, colonizing another country? It'd crush so many Aeqaeans, cause so much anger and cost the country so many innocent lives. I didn't want to live knowing I was destroying families and a country that had once been prosperous. Not even if it meant I had a crown on my head.

The realization hit me like a bullet, puncturing my heart like a pillar of ice.

I had to go home.

All this work I had done to be queen, all my foolish hopes that the crown would solve my problems... I had to leave. Had to leave Kavek, had to leave Azmir, had to leave all of it behind.

Kavek had said there was a way out... I would go to him. See if he could talk to some people and allow me to leave. My heart nearly collapsed in on itself when I realized that would be the last time I'd see him.

Still, the thought of seeing him sent my heartbeat fluttering. I hadn't seen him since I'd painfully ignored him in the last ball. And after I told him I wanted to leave, I'd respectfully tell him that the kiss never meant anything. Then I'd say goodbye.

I stood up and checked my makeup in the mirror, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind my ear before walking out into the hallway.

I inhaled slowly, taking a shaky deep breath before finally knocking on the door.

I stood there for a few moments, my mind and heart racing at the many ways this could go wrong. I tried to control my breathing.

Finally, the door opened, and Kavek stood there staring at me. His eyes widened.

"Bella?"

He looked like a mess.

His hair was a tangled mess of curls on his head, his eyes were weary and streaked with red, and he wore loose gray sweatpants and a plain black tank top. It was like he had just gotten out of bed, except it was basically the afternoon.

I walked past him into his room. "Close the door," I said quietly.

He silently obeyed, his eyes still trained on my face.

I opened my mouth, ready to tell him that I needed someone to help me get out of the Matching and that I needed to go home, but instead, three traitor words escaped my lips.

"I love you."

We stared at each other for a few moments, my mind racing faster than I could think as I realized what the effects of my impulsiveness could be. What if he didn't love me back? What if he told the queen? What if I was sent home a cheater and a liar and the whole world would know it?

All thoughts erased from my mind as he took a step forward, intent written in his eyes.

Before he could move, I ran up to him and pressed my lips to his.

He tilted his head and passionately kissed me back, gently pulling me closer to him. And that was when everything in the world became perfect.

Kavek's back met the wall with a faint thud, his hand brushing my hair out of my face. There were no more worries, no more thoughts or feelings that held me back when his lips were on mine.