Cool for the summer

chapter 4-kira

Zim is so irresponsible! their still floating out there, and there's people arriving on the beach now. I hope Sam comes down soon. he's been here for nearly three weeks now, and seeing him so much is great. He even calls me Kira. I was born knowing my name(it happens sometimes to our kind) but my parents (ungrateful failures of parents that they where) refused to accept that as my name. said it sounded too free or some other useless excuse that didn't make any sense. sky is literally the freest element, in my opinion anyway, but I may be a bit byest .it was really just a way to show their power over us, and but the wind did they flaunt that power. They where terrible parents, but Zim was to young to remember much. childhood gives everything a rosy hue. not for me though. as far as i can see, I've always been like this. bitter, angry, to scared that people will leave to open up to them. well, never mind that last bit was most definitely my parents fault. Or my mothers anyway.my father, not Zim's father (we share a mother, and that's good enough for both of us, were close enough that it probably wouldn't matter even if we didn't.)he died performing the spell that brought me into the world. Within a year my mother moved on and was ready to preform it a gain with Zim's father. I still don't really understand how she got over him that quickly, or how she found another one of our kind to be with. Maybe I'm just naive but if she really loved him, I don't think she could have gotten over him that fast. i haven't spoken to sam about my parents much.he knows they left but not about zim.i wish i could tell him, and while i trust him with my life, i don't want him to know that one of my siblings stayed, or rather, i stayed with one of my siblings.

me and sam do talk about ' deep stuff' as he would say it, and its through him that i understand most of what i do about the humans.he once went swimming with me,-(i didnt swim its a pain to dry my wings, their not as waterproof as they should be) and hen he came out of the water i could see his chest.he said it was the first time in years he had swam not in a teeshirt which i didn't understand.why not? the other human males swim in just shorts all the time. this was the first time I really understood how cruel humans were. 

They took someone so full of happiness, so full of love, and they made him think he didn't even diserve to be here. they made him hate himself so my he brought a knife to himself. Cut himself. winds above I wanted to kill them, and i had never even meet them. That was why he hadn't swam with out a shirt, he said. it made other people uncomfortable, what he had done. Some how, this just made me even more mad. he had to hide this so other people weren't uncomfortable? Had to hide what had happened, how awful these people where? I got up and hugged him. Wrapping my arms around him then my wings. I am absolutely not  hugger. I rarely even hug Zim. last time I hugged someone like this was probably when my parents left. you want to know why they did this?he told them he would equally love a boy or girl , anyone regardless of gender. he told them he was pan, and they did this.me and Zim people like us think nothing of relationships between boys and boys, or girls and girls, or someone in between. but for humans they have special names for how you are attracted to people, even if you aren't attracted to people. And some people hated this about him so much they drove him to this.

That night I nearly cried when I was trying to sleep. I am a pretty emotionless person so this was a shock for me, how close I was to shedding a tear over my friends plight.it was one of those moments were you realize something, something so large and seemingly impossible before that moment.

I realised that I care for him. Almost, no just as much, maybe more than I do for Zim. I care for him to the extent I was ready to fly over the mainland, expose myself as not human(thank goodness, being land-bound must be awful. humans are so delicate too.). I know that I am not in love with him because, when we were talking about relationships and things, he brought up a friend who was greyromantic and he then explained what it meant to me, and I think that I am somewhere on that scale (the asexual scale). I don't think its just from never interacting with other people, I have seen people on the beach and in the water from my bedroom before, and I never once thought anything romantic, or even thinking that they where attractive, before. The sun is getting low and I've been thinking of this for to long. I pull a blanket, my favorite fur lined one over and throw it over my body, except my wings, the blankets to small (most are) and sleeping with  my wings covered feels weird. I want to try and sleep for a hour or so till Sam arrives. good night.