**The Amateur of Love**

21

---

Dinner had arrived, and both of us stood in front of my father's house, holding hands as we went inside.

- "Good evening, uninvited guests," I said.
- "Leya, you came."
- "Yes, Mom."
- "Welcome then."
- "Dad, where is he?"
- "He'll come downstairs in a moment."
- "Alright, let's sit at the dinner table now."
- "But dinner is ready."
- "Okay," I said and continued forward with Arber.

After a few minutes, Dad joined us.

- "I have nothing to say. If you want to stay together, who am I to stop you?" he said and sat at the table.
- "And welcome again, son," he said again.
- "Welcome and forgive me for everything. I know I didn't do my best for Leya, but everything happened suddenly," Arber said.
- "Darling, what is that word? You did everything for her as much as you could. If we had done something more, we might have found her, not you," Mom said.
- "Okay, let's close this topic. Please don't get into unnecessary arguments. I'm fine, you're fine, everyone is fine. Okay?"
- "Son, how is the project going?"
- "I've given up, Dad."
- "Why?"
- "It was necessary."
- "Well, I won't bother you if you think it's reasonable to stop. You've done very well."
- "Thank you, Dad," I said, looking at Arber. We still hadn't discussed this part as far as I remember, and it had to be done.

After dinner, we all went out to the yard. Our neighbors, whom we jokingly call neighbors but are actually all relatives (uncles, aunts, and all my cousins), joined us. With some glasses of wine in our hands and a guitar providing music, we set everything up.

- "Can I have a dance?" he said.
- "Of course, Dad," I said and got up to dance with him.
- "Son, I'm sorry," he said.
- "Dad, you should forgive me. I shouldn't have spoken to you in any way," I said and hugged him.

After we finished dinner, we got ready to leave. We were going to Arber's mother's house to sleep, where we would stay for a week.

---

The week passed so quickly. We had cooked, danced, cleaned, and spent time with all of Arber's family. I was now part of that family. It was time to leave, and the weather wasn't in our favor. It was a terrible rainstorm, and the road was very bad. After hugging everyone, we got into the car and set off. I had a feeling that things wouldn't end well; I could sense it.

- "If something happens today, neither you nor I will be to blame."
- "What are you saying, Leya?"
- "I don't know, I just wanted to say it."
- "Oh, alright. Buckle up now; look at the road."
- "Okay, Captain," I said, kissed him on the cheek, and buckled up. After many hours on the road, I was feeling sleepy.
- "Arber, I'm getting sleepy."
- "Sleep, lily."
- "We'll be fine."
- "Yes."
- "Even if we're not fine, we still have to be, right?"
- "Leya, are you saying this because you're sleepy?"
- "I don't know, maybe."

......::::::

When I woke up, it wasn't from his hands or his voice but from a jolt. I heard police sirens everywhere; my eyes wouldn't open.

- "A 25-26 year old female, blood type A+, car accident, presenting with internal hemorrhage."
- "Quick, to the operating room. Is there another one?"
- "Yes, Doctor."
- "Inform me."
- "Male, 27-30 years old, blood type O+, car accident, body found lifeless at the scene, just informed now, being sent to the morgue."

These were the last words I heard. I couldn't react, as if I was pinned in place.

- "She's pregnant; we can't operate with anesthesia; it could risk the baby."
- "First, let's check the baby's condition."
- "Alright, Doctor, but bring the tools."
- "The baby, the baby could be 1-2 weeks old, not more. It's still not distinguishable, but it's possible to save it."
- "Why, Doctor?"
- "Because she has already lost it."
- "Heart rate is dropping."
- "Continue working quickly... anesthesia."

Today, I lost everything. I lost him, his eyes, his lips, his hair, his hands. I lost everything of his. Today, I lost my baby, whom I hadn't even understood yet. Today, I lost not only my baby but also his baby. I'm losing everything.

- "Leya Anderson, time of death 15:41. Inform the family."

.....

Today, I also lost myself......

END