unseen in my reflection

ch 1 - echoes of my memories

The quiet of the Gryffindor common room was suffocating. I sat alone in a corner of the brightly lit room, tracing my fingers against an old photograph of my family. The only proof of my existence. 

A photograph of the people who could walk past me in a busy crowd and not look back. Their smiles forever captured on a piece of paper, a moment I could never reclaim. Today was one of those days where I couldn't move past my memories. Those days where even people's smiles were too loud. I wanted to get away from the deafening noise but the fire gently crackling in the room was too still too loud. I wanted nothing more than to scream at it and run away.

Somedays I regretted what I had done. I was safe now, but the consequence of my actions weighed heavily on my shoulders. It haunted me at every waking moment. I had protected my parents from harm, but at what cost? They had forgotten their own daughter ever existed, a daughter they once loved with their whole heart. I had severed my last tie to my precious life. And sometimes I wish I wasn't so selfless. I could've kept my parents to myself, I could've kept the joyful life I had. What pains the most is knowing I had no other option. I'm better off accepting that they're safe, even if it meant sacrificing the chance of being their daughter. Constantly living with the knowledge my mere existence was a danger to their lives would have crushed me.

My thoughts drifted back to that fateful night, the cold reality of my actions flooding back to me, echoing in the dark waters of my mind. Arguing with them for months and not properly getting to apologize for being an asshole. Not getting to say goodbye. The memory of my tear-streaked face watching as my existence disappeared from every photograph hanging on the walls of our kitchen and living room is so vivid it feels as if I had done that just yesterday. My own reflection is now a ghost that haunts the halls of a place I once called home. My face, a symbol of my sacrifice.

The rustle of footsteps outside snapped me back to reality. I braced myself as I prepared myself for my first day at Hogwarts. I took a deep breath as I quickly hid the photograph inside my coat and stood up, putting on a fake smile like a switch turned on in my mind as I forced myself to forget my memories. The echoes of my memories might haunt me, but right now it was time to focus on the present.

"There you are!" Hermione smiled, walking into the common room.

"Hey mione" I said, trying my best to reciprocate her happy mood. "How was breakfast?"

"Why, do you regret not coming?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me for caring about how your day is going so far" I laughed.

We both giggled as we walked towards the steps of the dorms.

"Alright then" she clapped her hands together, "I'm gonna go grab my bag from upstairs. Wait for me here, okay?"

"Trust me, I'm not that excited to get to class" I joked.

She smiled and ran upstairs, leaving me alone in the common room once again. However, that only lasted a short while before more students began walking in hurrying to grab there stuff.

Harry and Ron walked into the common room and sat down on the couches in front of the fireplace. I followed suit and sat down with them. Ron looked at me and asked "Why weren't you at breakfast?"

"I wasn't that hungry" I responded, fidgeting with my sleeve.

"Are you nervous?" Harry asked

"Honestly, a little. I don't know what to expect."

"Al, for the love of god you live with Professor Mcgonagall I think you've experienced a whole school year living with her already" Harry assured.