unseen in my reflection

ch 2 - under pressure

The morning atmosphere was slowly worsening after DADA. Hermione and Ron were locked in a constant state of argument, and Harry couldn't stop snapping at everyone. I found myself reminding him multiple times that we were all on his side, even if he was being treated by everyone else as a lunatic.

As we trudged into the dungeon, it was cold and uninviting. The atmosphere reminded me once again of the way my house felt that night. I should've removed my own memories instead.

Double Potions- how exciting, I thought grimly. I could already tell I wouldn't like this class. Professor Snape was even worse than I imagined, his presence casting a shadow over the classroom. 

I was having a hard time focusing during class because I couldn't stop thinking about my parents, to which he yelled at me for. 

"Maeve!" Snape's voice cut through my thoughts. "Are you paying attention, or is your mind preoccupied with nonsense?" He sneered.

Before I could stammer out a response, his gaze turned to Harry. He singled out Harry during class, berating him because his potion didn't turn out right, which was extremely unfair as many others ( mostly Slytherins) also messed up but didn't receive the same treatment. I wasn't the only one who noticed. 

"That was really unfair," Hermione muttered, as we walked into the Great Hall for lunch. "Goyle's potion was a hundred times worse than yours, I mean it literally shattered when he put it in his flagon. It set his robes on fire!"

"Yeah well, when has Snape ever been fair to me?" Harry responded, glowering at his plate. Anyone could tell he was frustrated. People have been unfair to him since what happened at the Triwizard Tournament. And it was clearly taking its toll. 

"Maybe he'll be better this year..?" I offered, trying to lighten up the mood. I wasn't really listening to them that much, but I still knew it was a long shot. "I mean, you know... now that he's in the Order and everything." 

"Poisonous toadstools don't change their spots," Ron said. "Anyways, I've always thought Dumbledore was mad for trusting Snape. Where's the evidence he stopped working for You-Know-Who?"

"Dumbledore probably has loads of evidence, even if he doesn't share it with you." Hermione snapped back, clearly irritated.

Ron opened his mouth to retort, but before he could he was cut off by Harry. 

"Oh, shut it you two." He said, his voice tight with frustration. "You're always having a go at each other like some sort of married couple. Can't you give it a rest?" Harry snapped. "It's driving me mad." 

And with that, he walked off. 

I sat in shock as I started at Ron and Hermione's faces. Both were understandably frozen in anger and offended.

I let out a small sigh, knowing he didn't mean to snap at them. "You guys know he didn't mean it... he's just dealing with a lot, especially after Umbridge's class. But of course, that doesn't give him an excuse to be rude." I said, placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder.

She nodded, but still looked hurt. "I know, it's just hard when he takes it out on us."

I agreed with her, but still went to go look for him before he did something stupid.

I hurried out of the Great Hall in search for Harry, worried he had gone too far but then I heard Sir Cadogen yell out and that's when I realized where Harry was going. 

I found him sitting underneath the trapdoor at the top of the North Tower.

I approached him slowly, not wanting to startle him. "Harry?"

He looked up, his frustration and anger evident in his expression. But when he saw me, some of the tension in his shoulders eased. 

I took that as a sign that it was okay to sit next to him. 

"Sorry for snapping at you all, " He mumbled, looking away. "I just... I can't stand them bickering like that."

"Its okay, they know you didn't mean it," I assured him. "But you've got to stop taking it out on them because they're on your side." I reminded him, for the hundredth time today. 

Harry let out an exasperated sigh. "I know, Al, but it's just... everything's piling up. The nightmares, everyone running away from me like I'm crazy, now Umbridge.. it's like there's no escape!" He sighed, running his hand through his messy hair. "And then Ron and Hermione start up and it's like they don't get it. Nobody does!" 

I stayed quiet, letting him vent. Communication is better than bottling it up inside, even if it's messy and painful.

"It's just- it feels never-ending," he continued, his voice rising. "It's all just too much to handle."

"Harry," I said softly, trying to cut though his frustration. "They argue because they care. It's their way of dealing with things. But you have to remember that they're still your best friends. They care endlessly for you."

He let out another sigh. "I know. But sometimes... it feels like it's too much. Like I'm supposed to have all the answers, and I don't."

Feeling a wave of empathy, I squeezed his shoulder. "You're not supposed to have all the answers. No one does, not even Dumbledore. But that's why we're here, all of us. To figure it out together."

For a moment, he didn't say anything, just stared at the floor, lost in thought. Finally, he nodded. The tension on his face eased a little more.

"I just want you to know that we're here for you." I reminded him once more. "But.. I think you need some time to clear your head. I'll let you be for now." 

Harry didn't protest, just nodded again.

"I'll see you in Divination. Don't keep Professor Trelawney waiting too long; she might think you died." I joked lightly. 

He smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n

chapter 2 finally done!! what do we think?

sorry it took so long! I was going to upload it a day after chapter 1 since I started working on this right after, but I'm a little busy so it took longer than I had anticipated. 

if you have any feedback, or a specific chapter you'd like to read, let me know! <33

edit: this chapter was originally published in august, but I was rereading (again) it and found some mistakes that I hadn't seen before (oops) so I had to fix that !!