Armaan stared at Abhira from a distance. Anybody who knew her would notice the difference in her demeanor, as if there was a wall around her, a sturdy invisible wall, excruciatingly built piece by piece from the scattered remnants of her heart. She stood there on the open terrace, yet caged in a box, a constant sense of suffocation that seemed to have become her only constant these days.
Armaan knew it probably wasn't right for him to be here at Abhira's place at this time but he was driven by his restlessness after today's incident at the bachelorette party and it didn't feel right to let her stay all alone knowing she was probably suffering a lot. He had only seen her fall in the pool, but all the things that preceded were still unknown to him. He also knew she wouldn't open up, especially not to him but he just had to be there for her, make sure she was okay.
So he walked towards her, while she was lost in her own array of thoughts, gazing at the few stars that adorned the rather empty sky, like doorknobs to hidden poetries. And in that moment it hit Armaan again, how intrigued he was by her mind...the mind that felt like it were a galaxy of exploding cosmos and shooting stars. She had the kind of mind that would look at firecrackers and believe they were falling stars for her to wish upon. Her mind was what the first rays of the sun on a winter morning would feel like... wasn't there a word for it?
Abhira found solace in the stars, their distant light offering a sense of calm. Each point of light seemed to pulse with the heartbeat of the universe, a rhythm she found oddly comforting. For a moment, she could forget everything and just be.
Armaan walked closer, "You love watching the stars don't you?"
Abhira flinched with a force that hit them both, like a jolt of unexpected lightning. Her hands instinctively wrapped the shawl tighter around her and her body tensing as if struck. Her breathing became rapid and shallow.
Armaan stepped back, his expression softening as he noticed her reaction. "I'm sorry," he said quickly, raising his hands in a placating gesture. "I didn't mean to startle you."
Abhira took a step back, her back pressing against the cold metal railing of the terrace. She could feel her pulse throbbing in her temples, the familiar grip of panic closing around her chest. She tried to speak, but her throat was tight, the words trapped. She focused on her breathing, willing herself to calm down. Inhale, exhale. Just breathe. Slowly, the world began to come back into focus. She could see him more clearly now, his features softened by the moonlight. There was no threat in his posture, only genuine concern.
"I...I am sorry, I just... wasn't expecting anyone", Abhira spoke, her throat hurting with the strain it took to form a coherent sentence. And she hated it, being so vulnerable and so weak, she hated being in her skin right now, as if she didn't belong, not even in her own body.
Armaan just shook his head, "you don't have to apologise, I understand."
For a moment her eyes seemed to hold a question, if he actually did, if he truly did understand how it felt right now to be her, to struggle to just...be. But before he could actually read her eyes, she turned away. And they stood there in silence. Every few seconds Armaan's eyes fell on how Abhira's hands on their own accord would scratch her arm, as if trying to remove her skin. And it broke Armaan, because Abhira was always someone who was comfortable with who she was, someone who wouldn't shed herself to build a version that others wanted, someone who smiled looking at herself in the mirror... someone who probably knew how to love herself. So there was something so discomforting and painful to watch her feel like her very own skin wasn't where she belonged, like she had to remove it to feel something pure and untainted.
Armaan gently wrapped his hand around hers and she looked distraught but she wouldn't look at him. All he wanted in that moment was to erase the events of today from her memory, and let her free from the pain that she was feeling.
