Idiots - to - lovers ? (Gyubrick)

Chapter 1

There are many problems that come with being friends with both Ricky and Gyuvin, but Hao thinks number one on the list is this:

They're both fucking stupid.

✧✧✧

It starts when Ricky walks in through the door at half-past ten, his shoulders slumped and his eyelids drooping. Hao looks up, his brow raising delicately as he watches Ricky stomp over to his bed and plop down face-front.

"I take it your date went well," says Hao.

Ricky groans, one long, drawn-out syllable: "Hnnnnnnnnnngh."

Hao nods at this, then lets his laptop slide off his lap and crosses his legs beneath him. He stares across the dorm at Ricky's pathetic figure and heaves a sigh. "You know, Ricky," he starts, "you could always just avoid all of this by saying no to the people who ask you out."

"I can't do that!" says Ricky, voice muffled through the thickness of his comforter. He turns his head, makeup smearing against the pearly white till he's facing Hao. "Listen to me. This girl came up to me yesterday and told me about how I inspired her to push through the hardest course she was enrolled in. How was I supposed to say no when she asked me if I wanted to have dinner with her?"

"Her?" Hao says, squinting at him. "But I thought you're..."

Another groan, this time shorter but with just as much oomf. "I know, okay? I know."

Ricky is what most would call an it boy. Or whatever the hell that means. Everyone on campus is in love with him, which, well, okay. Hao can appreciate his friend's attractiveness on an objective scale. Because Ricky is gorgeous. Like, drop-dead gorgeous. Hao literally hears these exact words every single day from Gyuvin.

And, because Ricky is so perfect and pretty, he gets asked out.

A lot.

"Actually," says Hao, reaching over for his computer and lifting the lid open. "I have a solution for you."

Ricky immediately perks up. "Do you?"

Hao nods. "Yes, listen to me." He refreshes the browser he's currently on, spinning his screen around so that Ricky can look at it. "Behold, Wattpad."

Ricky blinks. Then he leans forward with great interest and says, "What is it?"

"A collection of stories from small, online authors who post works about fictional or non-fictional characters," says Hao without missing a beat. "Otherwise known as fanfiction."

Ricky nods slowly, as if sinking this all in. "I see," he says. Then his eyebrows furrow. "Your solution is...fanfiction?"

"Obviously not," says Hao, "but perhaps you can learn a bit from it. Do you know what fake dating is?"

"Fake...dating?"

"Correct," Hao nods. "It's a popular trope. Two people agree to fake-date for some stupid reason, and then often end up falling in—"

"Hao," Ricky interrupts, his eyes still carefully trained on the screen. His cheeks are dusted pink, which really should be the first sign of trouble. "Are you, um—are you reading, ah..."

"What?" Hao spins his laptop around and peers down at it. Their tongues battled for dominance, reads his screen, as they scrambled to peel each other's clothes off and—

He slams it closed and coughs violently.

"Anyways," he says, and Ricky's responding expression is enough for the unspoken agreement between them to never bring this up again. "My point is, you should just pretend to date someone to get people to stop asking you out."

"Oh," says Ricky, and then he falls silent for a few long seconds. Hao watches him, already prepared for what he's about to be asked.

It's simple. Ricky will go, 'But who should I fake-date?' and Hao will pretend to think about it. Then he'll say, 'Maybe you could fake-date Gyuvin,' and once the two go through the whole fifty-thousand-word-slow-burn-friends-to-lovers thing, Hao will finally get some peace and fucking quiet.

Hao first met Ricky two years ago, when the two had become roommates and were forced to spend every waking moment together. Naturally, they became friends. Close friends. Best friends, maybe, but Hao would never admit that out loud. And all was well.

Until Ricky's childhood friend and neighbor moved to the city to pursue an education.

"Qubing is a wonderful person," Ricky had told him a few days before Gyuvin's arrival, "the two of us grew up together! He was, ah, a little upset when I told him I'm already living with someone, but he's got a dorm to himself on-campus so it isn't too bad."

This is what Hao had been expecting:

Someone nice. Someone small, probably. Someone who matched Ricky's energy: cute, quirky, unnecessarily kind. Someone who was probably not very attractive, because Hao has never in his life witnessed two good-looking best friends. But, you know, a nice guy overall. Someone Hao could potentially befriend himself.

This is what Hao ended up getting:

A whiny, disgustingly-in-love pain in the ass.

The moment Hao set his eyes on Gyuvin for the first time, he immediately felt a headache coming. Call it fate, destiny, whatever bullshit you want, but the only thing that ran through Hao's mind in that moment was this: run. Run as fast as you fucking can. Get out of there. Do you see the way he's looking at Ricky? Do you see the way he's hanging off of him like some kind of fucking chimpanzee? His legs look like they belong to a chimpanzee. Save yourself.

And, since the universe hates him, Ricky was absolutely not any better at all.

Cue an entire year of third-wheeling, being forced to pay for group dinners, cringing internally at the blatant fucking flirting the two would do right in front of Hao's poor, innocent little eyes, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

And, fuck it. Hao reads fanfiction. Sue him. Fanfiction isn't real life his ass. Ricky and Gyuvin are the tropiest idiots-to-lovers he's ever seen in his life. If fake dating can push them in the right direction, Hao is all for it. He is sick and fucking tired of having to deal with the two of them and their stupid antics. Did he promise to never involve himself in their relationship? Maybe. Is Gyuvin the biggest coward on the planet who won't confess to a man who would take fourteen-and-a-half bullets for him? Definitely.

And so.

"But who should I fake-date?" says Ricky now, and when Hao looks up at him, he finds his friend deeply in thought, as if running through a mental list of every single person he knows.

Bingo. Hao really does know him too well.

Here comes the part where he suggests Gyuvin. "Maybe you should fake-date—"

"Oh!" Ricky says, practically jumping up from his spot on the bed and turning to face Hao. His eyes are wide and excited, like he's just had the greatest epiphany of a lifetime. "I know!"

Oh. Good, then. Maybe Ricky does have a functioning brain after all.

"Yes," Hao nods. "I was thinking the same."

"You!" Ricky exclaims, and Hao freezes right in his tracks. "I should fake-date you!"

Silence.

"What?"