Deadly In Love

Chapter 2: The Fight

 Over the next few weeks, every time I disagreed with anything Casey said, she would leave to hang out with Marlee. By this time, it was already December. I decided to confront her about it. So, one Saturday I called her and asked her to come over to my house. She came over around 10 minutes later, seeming annoyed that I would invite her over.

“Hey. So, I wanted to talk to you about something.” I said. “You know how you kind of get mad at me when I disagree on anything? Why do you do that? Recently, you keep leaving me for Marlee.” She stared at me as if I had threatened her to stop being friends with her. She seemed to be getting extremely angry.

“Because you keep turning down everything I say. It’s annoying. You just act like you’re so above all of my ideas. Now if you just wanted to invite me over to criticize everything I do, I’m going home now.” She said, standing up and leaving.

After that, that was it. At school, she sat with Marlee and her other friends in every class. And I would sit with Tina. She ignored me whenever I tried to talk to her, but one day, she did answer. It was as we were leaving the lunchroom. I stopped her at the doorway.

“Meet me at my house after school. I have to give you something. Don’t think this makes us friends again.” She said, with an angry look on her face, full of hatred.

“Casey, wait.” I said, as she turned around to leave. “Please. Why can't we be friends anymore? I miss you, and I don’t see what I did wrong. We’ve been friends for so long, come on.” She turned around to look at me, almost looking like she would forgive me for a second, but then blinked and the look of anger returned.

“No. If you don’t see what you did wrong then you’re blind. I would ask you to do anything. Whether it was for you, for me, for someone else, for literally anyone. And all you do is hesitate, look like you freaking pity me, and just turn me down. Turn down every. Single. Idea. I just wanted to help, but if you don’t want my help, then whatever, I guess you’re on your own now.” Casey said, on the verge of tears. She turned around and stormed out of the doorway of the cafeteria.

I stood there stunned for a few seconds, looked around at the people staring at me, and hesitantly went to class. There was a substitute in that class, so we only had to read books the whole period, which left me a lot of time to think about what had just happened. At first I was just shocked, not knowing how to feel. Then I was angry. How could she do that to me, I thought. But then I was sad. An entire friendship of so long, just out the door, I thought. Then, I was guilty. Was it my fault? Did I really do all of that to her, I thought. Then the bell rang.

After that, we just stopped talking for good. She had her friends and I had mine. Slowly, I was introduced to Tina’s friends, and they became my friends. We were always hanging out together, and were all about as close as I was with Casey. The biggest difference is that I didn’t tell them about my secret crush on Banner.

Nothing happened between me and Casey after that. Until it did. She had told Marlee that I liked Banner, and then the rumor was spread. I think Casey meant for it to stay a secret, but leave it to Marlee to spread a rumor that isn’t hers to spread.

As rumors spread, at some point my friends heard. At first they were mad that I didn’t tell them, but it didn’t last more than a few “You should’ve told us!” and “C’mon, you know you can trust me with anything”s. Then, it was them telling me to talk to him. From suggestions asking him out, to saying I should ask for his number, and even a few hints that I should just ask him to marry me. Yes, I know, my friends are a little crazy. Oh, well, womp womp.

Over the few weeks that the news was still fresh lingering in the air, I caught some apologetic glances from Casey. I looked back at her, but looked away quickly, not giving her any hint of how I felt about it. And honestly, I didn’t know how to feel. Or which part of it to look at. Do I get mad that my ex-best friend is telling other people my secrets? Do I get embarrassed about the rumor itself? And how do I feel about him hearing it?

Eventually, I decided to be mad at her, but embarrassed by the rumor. And if he hears it, I mean, at least I’ll know how he feels about me I guess. If he likes me, then great, I might talk to him. If not, I’ll be totally embarrassed and want to die. Whatever. I mean the second option is definitely the most realistic one, but let me dream.

As I was thinking about this, I realized, I didn’t know if he had heard the rumors. Every art class I sat in that seat I sat in that one day to try to talk to him, and sometimes I still see him glance back at me. Sometimes I smile back at him, and he just turns back around.

He didn't show any signs of liking me at all. So naturally, I tried not to like him. Every time I thought of him, I would change the subject in my mind. When he walked by, or in classes where we were assigned to sit together, I would focus on ignoring him. And man was that hard. I had liked him so much for so long that it had become a habit of staring at him, but looking away when he looked at me. His perfect hair and dancing freckles were like magnets to my eyes, and I had to try to pull those magnets apart.

It took so long to finally convince myself that I didn’t like him anymore. In fact, I tried to find every flaw in him. Sadly, I couldn’t find many, but there were some. He had a reputation of being a playboy and a jerk. Those were his only flaws. He’s cute, popular, nice, tall, smart, athleti-I mean, no, I don’t like him anymore, I thought. That was the closest I got to not liking him. And what you just saw, that kind of happened every time I saw him. But then everything changed, and in a much different way that I had expected.