𝖍𝖆𝖟𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖑 ~ 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

~𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖑. 𝖘𝖙𝖚𝖕𝖎𝖉, 𝖋𝖚𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖑~

Angel Dust x depressed!reader (y/n, fem)

{!!TW!!: sexual abuser, self harm, manipulation, panic attack.}

lime 🍋‍🟩

comfort 🫂

angst ⛈️

~fool by cavetown; 2:32~

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

A fool. That's all she was... A fool. A stupid, fucking fool. She collapsed into bed, shaking body hidden among the silk sheets as she hugged a pillow tightly against her heaving chest. The thoughts ran rampant through her pounding her skull... Maybe she deserved the abuse. Maybe, maybe... The world meant for him to force himself upon her like that. Fuck.

Suddenly, the door opened. "Hey, baby, I was thinkin' we could-" the voice paused its rambling. It was Angel Dust. He sat down on the edge of the bed, keeping his hands in his lap. "Hey, hun." His voice was gentle and sweet like honey, he seemed frozen almost, making no sudden moves.

She lifted her weary gaze to meet his worried eyes, her throat got all tight as she gently laid her head down on his lap where he started combing his long fingers through her hair. "Shhh... y/n. I know. Whatever's hurtin', ain't gonna hurt ya forever."

"Angel, I... I think I'm having a panic attack. My stomach feels all weird." The mumble came from his lap.

"A panic attack, huh, toots?" Angel replied slowly, keeping his words even so she could understand in her frazzled state. He remembered to stay still, nothing that could startle her. "Do you still feel safe with me touching you or no?" He was slow in pulling his hands away just in case but they were instantly yanked back.

"No, no, no... Keep touching me. Helps me feel safe." Was whispered back in return; Angel's heart melted a little at those words. He continued combing his long, lanky fingers through her tangled hair; carefully getting out all the knots. "Just focus on me, honey. Focus on what's goin' on around ya, babycakes."

She was breathing more normal, feeling her chest stop its swift, unpredictable palpitations as she exhaled, she watched Angel smile gently down upon her. "Good job, y/n. M' proud of ya..." He murmured, his heart was bursting; that was the quickest she'd calmed down from a panic attack in a long time. He gently lifted her head from his lap, wiping her cold tears with his thumbs before he started to move. "I'll go get you some water and a snack from downstairs, m'kay?"

As soon as he left, she spotted a razor blade... A rusty one on the rustic bedside table but no she couldn't possibly. She slowly picked it up, rubbing the rusty metal across her skin and then pressing, bubbles of blood came up, bright and crimson. My, my... They were so pretty. She brought her skin to her to her soft lips and sucked at the bright red blood. The taste metallic and salty on her tongue was strange but almost familiar as she suckled before dropping the razor blade onto the silky sheets. Then, the door opened.

"No, no, no, no, no! Baby!" Angel's voice burst through the silence as he walked in, he grabbed the razor blade which smeared blood onto his hands as he threw it to the floor where it clattered. His face fell. "Y/n... How could you?"

She looked up, fear evident in her eyes, the way they widened and she shrunk back, pulling the bloody sheets around herself. "Am... I in trouble?" Her voice was trembling.

Angel shook his head quickly, "Of course not, baby." He murmured, going to the bathroom and wetting a wash cloth with lukewarm water before coming back to her. "Show me your arms." He said firmly, trying not to wince as he saw the deep cuts from the razor blade. Using the damp washcloth he started to slowly dab at her bloodied, blistered skin. "It was only a few minutes..." He muttered, sadly looking at the full glass of cold water and warmed up slice of pizza on the bedside table. He'd only left for a few minutes and she'd done this.