So High School

Talk to me

Just a disclaimer Taylor is beautiful and so healthy and all those pregnancy      rumours are bullshit and are from people who are jealous of how amazing she looks she is literally so pretty omg

TW: I've decided I'm gonna put the tw in the comments from now on so I don't spoil the chapter :)

Travis's POV

Me and Taylor had been apart for two months. With her on tour and me at practice, we hadn't been able to see each other but we had tried to call often. She was coming home today- she had just finished her European leg of the eras tour- and I was overjoyed.

She was due back any minute, so I was waiting on the sofa in the living room. There was a knock at the door and I leapt up, rushing to open it. There she was, in leggings and a hoodie. I pulled her in for a hug, squeezing her tight.
"I missed you so much" i whispered, and she murmered the same back into my shoulder. I pulled away, my hands still resting on her hips. She felt different. Skinnier? I decided to ignore it for now, it was probably nothing after all.

Her face was mainly bare, just some mascara and concealer. However, even with the concealer I could still see the deep bags under her eyes and she was her cheekbones jutted out. I could see how tired she felt, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.
"Are you okay?" I asked her worriedly
" I missed you" she said again, hugging me, again.
"I missed you too baby. Do you want some dinner? We can order takeout?" I asked her, leading her into the living room.
"Um, sure" she replied, fiddling with the bottom of her hoodie.

After a bit of discussion as decided on some chicken from down the road. We lay on the sofa together, Taylor in my arms whilst waiting for our food to arrive.

No ones POV

The doorbell rang and Taylor climbed off Travis's lap as he went to answer it. He came back in with two paper bags and set them down on the table, gesturing for Taylor to come join him. He set out the food, and just the sight of it made Taylor want to throw up.

The truth was, she had barely been eating since she last saw Travis. Some pregnancy rumours online and she was back to her old habits, not having Travis there to tell her it was going to all be okay.

"Taylor?" A voice cut through her thoughts. She looked up, meeting the worried eyes of her boyfriend.
"You okay? You were zoned out there for a sec" he asked her.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just feel kinda sick" She lied.
"Oh" Travis's face dropped. "Could you at least try to eat something?" He asked her.
"I feel sick" Taylor repeated.
"Okay, well at least have this piece of chicken. You're gonna make yourself feel even worse if you don't eat" he told her.

Taylor took the piece of chicken from Travis's hand. She knew she had to eat it. She knew that if she didn't Travis would suspect something was wrong, and she couldn't let that happen. Trying to silence all the voices in her head she took a bite, cringing as she felt the food in her mouth. The first food she had eaten for three days. She finished the rest as Travis watched expectantly, swallowing the last bite and curling her arm over her stomach.

"I'm gonna go lie down for a bit, you finish eating though" she told him, the voices in her head louder than ever.
"Are you sure?" Travis asked her worriedly, but Taylor just nodded. "Call me if you need anything, okay?" Taylor was already half way out the door.

She hurried up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking the door and dropping to her knees infront of the toilet. That chicken made you fat. You're fat. did you see all that fat? All that fat is you now. You're fat. Fat. Fat. Fat. Fat. The voices were silenced as she shoved her fingers down her throat, puking up all the chicken. She puked until her stomach was empty and her throat ached.

She stood up, groaning slightly and brushed her teeth. She stood infront of the mirror and took off all her clothes until she was just standing in her underwear. Taylor turned sideways, pinching the skin around her stomach and thighs. Her razor glinted from beside the sink, calling her over. she picked it up, her hand shaking, tears rolling down her cheeks.

You are so ugly. so fat. No one loves you. She drew the blade across her thigh, adding to the array of cuts already there. Moving up to her arm, she added to the scattered red lines, wincing but relishing in the pain.

She made one more cut a bit further down and her hand slipped, sending the blade deep into her skin. She yelped, dropping the blade onto the floor and watching as the blood flowed. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she held her hand over the deep cut, the blood seeping through her fingers and dripping to the floor.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
"Taylor? You okay?" Travis called from the other side. Taylor didn't answer, just sniffled quietly.
"Are you crying? Open the door Taylor" Travis was even more worried when he didn't get a reply.
"I'm coming in, okay?" He waited a moment before grabbing the spare key and unlocking the door.

Taylor was standing in the middle of the bathroom, shaking. The first thing Travis noticed was that she was skinnier than usual. Not enough that a normal person would notice it, but Travis did, and knowing her history, it worried him.

He rushed over to her, almost slipping in the blood dripping onto the tiles.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry" Taylor sobbed, leaning against the counter as she felt lightheaded.
"It's okay, come and sit down" Travis led her to the toilet, putting down the seat and helping her sit. He grabbed a towel and held it to her arm, choosing to ignore the red lines with littered her arms, stomach and thighs for now.
"Why did you do this Tay?" Travis asked her gently, lifting up the towel and examining the cut.
" I don't know, Im sorry " Taylor continued to cry.She
"Hey no, don't apologise" Travis warned her. "Luckily I don't think you need stitches" he grabbed the dressing from the draw and held it onto her wound, taping it down.

"We gotta talk about this Tay" Travis told her as she stood up.
"Tomorrow?" Taylor asked quietly, looking up at him with teary eyes.
"Okay, let's get you to bed, yeah? I love you" He pulled her into his arm.
" I love you too" she mumbled into his shoulder

A/N school starts in two weeks which means timt and forever winter on repeat and spending every lunchtime in the toilets crying and getting terrible grades and not being good enough and being scared for the future and just trying to make it to Friday and spending every day after school in my room because I dont want to be at home either and no eras tour shows to keep me going this time :) already feeling so depressed and school hasn't been started yet just gotta make it through another year then it's the summer holidays again
God I hate school literally the only thing getting me through last year was going to the eras tour and now that's over

Sorry for the vent 🙃