The First To Be The Last

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For a better future...

"Hey babe, are you going home tonight? Wanna have dinner together?" my girlfriend asked on the line.

She sounds hopeful, but I'm going to disappoint her again.

"I'm sorry, babe. You know it's our midterms next week," I said slowly, as if my tone would make her understand my situation.

I heard a sigh from the other line.

"Why are you always like that, Cien? Kung hindi midterms ay quizzes or tests 'yung dahilan mo kung bakit hindi ka makauwi. Alam mo? Nakakasawa na," she said. Disappointment and sadness were evident in her tone.

Live-in na kami ni Vria, my girlfriend for 2 years, and this past few months ay medyo naging busy ako because of academics. Hindi na kami masyadong nakakapagkita since halos everyday ay may quizzes or tests kami. And now, midterms naman, 'yung reason ko kung bakit hindi ako makakauwi. I'm not really sure why, but maybe because we're graduating students, that's why todo silang magbigay ng assessments.

"Hey, I'm really sorry. You know that I'm doing this for our future, right? I'm doing the best that I can so that we'll have a better future."

"Lintik na future, 'yan Cien! Future, future! Lagi na lang future! Paano na lang kung sa kaiisip mo ng future ay napabayaan mo na 'yung present mo?!" galit na sigaw niya.

Natigilan naman ako sa sinabi niya at napaisip.

Am I really that advanced? Am I really ruining my present because I'm too focused on our future? Is it bad to think about the future?

"Do you really love me?" she asked na para bang napapagod na siya.

"W-What kind of question is that?! I really love you okay? Why are you doubting my feelings for you? Dalawang taon na tayo Vria. Ngayon mo pa ba pagdududahan 'yung pagmamahal ko sa'yo?" sagot ko at medyo tumataas na rin ang boses ko kasi naiinis na ako.

Stress na stress na ako sa pag-aaral tapos...

"Cien! Tawag ka ni Prof. Del Mundo!" biglang tawag ng isang boses.

Tumingin naman ako sa pinanggalingan nito, and it's Hugo. He's leaning on the bookshelf I was currently facing since I was looking for a book here in the library.

"Bakit daw?" I asked after kong medyo ilayo 'yung phone sa right ear ko.

"Dunno? But I think it's urgent, so you might need to go there now. He's in the teacher's lounge." he said and then left.

Inilapit ko ulit sa tenga ko 'yung phone ko, and said,

"I'm sorry, my professor is looking for me, so I'm gonna hang up-" Bago ko pa matapos ang sinasabi ko ay inunahan niya na akong patayin ang tawag.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako.

After kong pumunta kay Prof. Del Mundo ay nag-isip isip muna ako habang naglalakad papuntang dorm namin.

Sa dorm ako madalas mag-stay kasi mas malapit ito sa campus.

As I was walking, napag-isip isip kong may mali rin ako kasi mukha ngang napapabayaan ko na siya at 'yung relationship namin kaiisip sa future, so I decided to surprise her and go home tonight.

Sa lalim nang pag-iisip ko ay hindi ko napansin na may kasalubong na pala ako.

Medyo napaatras ako sa collision namin. Dali-dali kong inangat ang aking paningin para mag-sorry at itanong kung okay lang siya.

"Damn dude! Watch where you are going!" singhal ni Lusenio.

As usual, may babae na naman siyang kasama at kaakbay. Halos oras ata ay may bago siyang babae.

Tinitigan ko lang sila sabay tango at tumuloy nang maglakad papuntang sakayan.

Narinig ko pa si Lusenio kung paano siya nainis kasi hindi man lang daw ako nag-sorry.

That Lusenio makes me uncomfortable. He has this reputation going on for a while now since his freshman year. It's his reputation as "The Playboy of the Engineering Department," and I think he's really into it. He loves the attention. He loves women, and women love him too.

That's what I don't understand. Aside from his looks and status, what's good about him that they're literally throwing themselves at him?

I'm not jealous or what, it's just that I don't get them.

Hindi ko na lang pinagtuunan pa nang pansin 'yung lalaking 'yun at pumara na ng Jeep.

Pagkababa ko sa harapan ng 10-story condominium building, namin ay pumasok agad ako diretso sa elevator. The rent here is not that expensive, and it's just 20 minutes away from school. Kaya ito ang napili namin ni Vria.

The elevator stopped indicating that I'm already on our floor, the fifth floor. Naglakad ako papunta sa pangalawang unit. 2 units per floor itong building, kaya malaki-laki rin ang space ng isang condo unit. Sulit na rin sa bayad.

I typed the passcode on our door and opened it. It's dark inside because almost all of the lights are turned off except the light from the guest room.

"Babe?" I called out for her through the dark before switching the lights on.

Tatawagin ko pa sana siya sa pangalawang beses, pero bigla siyang lumabas sa guest room at dali-dali itong isinara. Nangunot naman ang noo ko.

"B-Babe?! I thought you couldn't make it?" she asked and then smiled uneasily.

I was about to ask if there's any problem, but she ran towards me and hugged me tight.

"I missed you," she whispered.

"I missed you too, Vria," I said, feeling as if something was lifted on my shoulder.

Siya 'yung unang kumalas sa yakap at nginitian ako.

The smile that made me fall in love with her.

That made me smile also, and so I kissed her forehead gently.

Saka ko napagtanto na na-miss ko 'to. I missed being with her. Being carefree with her.

"Did you already eat dinner?" she asked, and I just shook my head.

"Same, go do your thing, and I'll fix us some easy dinner, kasi gutom na ako," said Vria and gave me her goofy smile.

I kissed her once again, but on her lips before she went in the kitchen.

I smiled to myself and put my things on the sofa to go and take a quick shower, but something really piqued my interest. It's Vria and her uneasy smile and the guest room.

They said curiosity can kill the cat, but I think it'll hurt the cat first, and then eventually it could kill it.

That's why sometimes you shouldn't entertain your curiosity.

Labyu!♡