How can a substitute top have feelings? (MTL)

Chapter 42 Out of Control

Xie Chenyou's hair was half dry, and the messy hair hung on his forehead, adding a sharpness to him. He stood in front of the window, looking at the gray and black night sky, his eyes dark and unclear.

　　Lin Wen, who was sleeping on the bed with steady breathing, suddenly called out in a low voice: "Xie Chenyou."

　　After a moment, he murmured coquettishly: "...It hurts, Xie Chenyou."

　　In this person's dream, every sentence he spoke was filled with the words "Xie Chenyou".

　　Xie Chenyou turned around slowly and looked at Lin Wen. The lights in the bedroom were off, the curtains were half drawn, and the dim light shone in from the window. He could see a faint bulge on the bed - Lin Wen was curled up.

　　This is a very insecure posture.

　　Five years ago, when Xie Chenyou and Lin Wen were together, Lin Wen slept like this, but later when they slept together, Lin Wen began to "expand his territory and stretch his arms and legs." Now, 20 months after the two broke up, Lin Wen's sleeping posture has returned to normal.

　　Xie Chenyou looked away, without a trace of sleepiness in his eyes.

　　No one knew better than him what had just happened in the bathroom.

　　He shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have been so aggressive, and shouldn't have continued to escalate after making someone cry.

　　But.

　　——Out of control.

　　It's hard to say what got out of control, and it's even harder to say when sanity started to break down.

　　Xie Chenyou felt that everything related to Lin Wen recently was like a fuse - text messages sharing daily life and past events, wonderful stage performances, small snacks that smelled sweet and looked delicate, a perpetually bright smile and clear eyes that were ignorant of worldly affairs...

　　Also, in the bathroom, when Lin Wen squatted down, a section of his fair neck was exposed.

　　After a moment, he raised his head with a red face, kissed Xie Chenyou, passed the strawberry flavor in his mouth to him, and said with a little pride and complacency in his eyes: "This flavor was the first one you took just now."

　　Lin Wen's attentiveness actually far exceeded Xie Chenyou's imagination.

　　If he hadn't kept his eyes fixed on Xie Chenyou, he wouldn't have discovered the real Xie Chenyou during the three years of their relationship, and he wouldn't have remembered the things he picked up.

　　Then, Xie Chenyou bullied the man until he cried - he made Lin Wen lean against the wall with his back, so that he could only get close to him to absorb heat, leaving him with no other fulcrums on his body, and the closer Lin Wen got, the deeper he would sink.

　　The intense sensory stimulation was accompanied by physiological tears, wetting Lin Wen's eyelashes and lips, but the one who was really falling deeper and deeper in Lin Wen's wet kiss was Xie Chenyou himself.

　　This was the first time in the past 26 years that Xie Chenyou lost control. He suddenly wanted to light a cigarette to sort out his thoughts, but he didn't have such a thing at home.

　　Also, Lin Wen doesn't like the smell of smoke.

　　When Xie Chenyou was working on a project in his sophomore and junior years, he would occasionally have one or two due to excessive pressure. But since he signed a contract with Lin Wen in his senior year, he has not touched this thing again.