It's to much pain (RINNEY TBP)

Seeing the Trauma in my dreams

Finney pov:

It's been four months since the grabber died Robin turned fourteen a week ago but I don't know where his grave his.

But I don't wanna talk to his mother or uncle I'm scared what they could think of me.
I had bad dreams after everything that happened.
I felt dirty.
I am dirty.

The grabber took my first time but only mine because I was his favorite.
I'm happy that he didn't touch the others but why me is the only question I'm asking myself everyday.
My grades got even higher because I did nothing other than write and study.

„Finney you are such a good boy"Albert said.
I was trying to move away but the grabber grabbed me.
I looked down at him and saw that he was wearing a belt but it wasn't just one belt it was his belt Robin Arellanos belt my best friends/crushes belt.
Tears started to form in my eyes.
He pulled his shirt of as I tried to push him he grabbed the belt and beat me then he pushed me onto the mattress.
He pulled his pants down I tried to kick him but he pulled my shirt of as he laid his lips on mine-

I shot up gwen opening her eyes she has been sleeping in my room with me because I didn't get any good sleep alone in the last four months she doesn't sleep in my room every night but wen she see's that I'm worse than she decides to sleep in the same room as me.

Tears were streaming down from my face.
Gwen sat up next to she pulled me into a soft hug we both didn't bother to say anything.

„Finney I know it's hard and you don't wanna talk about it but would you tell me what has happened?"

She asked softly not thinking I would went to her but I nedded to talk to someone.

„The Gr-Grabber 🍇ped me and beat me with robins belt and the black phone in the basement rang I could talk to the missing victims without them I would be death." I said.

I didn't expect her to believe me but she somewhy did.

„I'm here for you you know that?"She asked.

I nodded „I know thank you." I said.

We went back to sleep.
Atleast she did I couldn't.

As I opened my eyes in the morning I assumed i must have fallen asleep.
I woke up Gwen and she went to get ready and I did asweel.

She was eating some cereal I would love to eat but I don't deserve it I haven't eaten much in the last 4 months I lost 15pound.
But I'm still not skinny enough.
I got used to the felling of starving and I don't starve much anymore.

„Finney do you wanna eat something before we go get groceries?"Dad asked.

„No dad I'm not hungry."

„Listen finney you've been eating almost nothing I've also seen that you lost weight are you okay darling?"

„Yes dad i am but thanks for asking can we go now."

„Yes." he answered Gwen put her bowl away and we left.

(Word count: 535)