To The End

Love

Victoria invited Jade inside once she was feeling more like herself. She led her inside by the hand, needing to keep contact or she would surely fall apart again. She went to the kitchen, needing further comfort. With one hand she prepared hot cocoa. Jade watched her work and only stared curiously at the finished beverage. Victoria offered it to her and accepted, blanching at the sweetness. The reaction coaxed a fragile smile out of the human.

She quickly changed gears and started to make coffee. She left it black and only added two spoonfuls of sugar. Jade stared dubiously at the newly made beverage but trusted Victoria and tried it. This one was reasonably bitter with only a hint of sweetness. She liked it far better than the other one.

"You seem like a coffee person," Victoria commented, noticing her favorable reaction. They took their drinks with them to Victoria's room. She sat at the edge of her bed while Jade sat at the desk out of habit. Victoria rolled her eyes but shrugged. For the first time, Jade was aware of how personal the space was. Her territory.

How had she not felt this uneasy the other times? But it wasn't necessarily a bad feeling. It didn't feel threatening. She stared down at the dark drink steaming in the mug held tightly between her hands. She couldn't figure out the feeling she was experiencing, and it bothered her.

"Are you okay?" Victoria questioned, not used to seeing Jade so unsure. She was stiff and her eyes were trained on the mug in her hands, not even looking up when Victoria addressed her.

She was usually more relaxed with her, gaze always taking in her surroundings. Jade let out a sigh, trying to unwind. She concluded that she didn't know why she felt this way. She had been here before. So why was this happening now?

"I'm fine. I'm more concerned about how you're doing. I heard what happened and came as soon as I could," Jade replied. Victoria's concern melted away, returning to sadness. She brought her cup to her lips and took a long drink, letting the sweet taste linger on her tongue. If only to put off having to talk about the sensitive subject. She really wasn't looking forward to the possibility of crying again. She hated the knot in her throat and the pain in her chest that came with crying.

"I'm not fine, but I feel better now that you're here," she answered. Jade allowed a small but gentle smile, sparking a bigger one on Victoria's lips. She shyly looked away and busied herself with the hot cocoa, hoping Jade didn't see her blush. She did, but she knew better than to point it out. Instead, she took a rather large gulp of coffee before setting it aside. She stood up, carefully took Victoria's cup, set it next to her own on the desk, and then returned to take a seat by the now curious human.

"Listen, I can't help but feel like I owe you and apology and an explanation for my behavior," Jade began.

"Why? What for?"

"Isn't it obvious? I hurt those around you. I keep putting you in danger. I feel something for you but it comes out all wrong. When I think I have things under control, I lose it. The beast refuses to cooperate. How I feel for you isn't enough to quiet its demands," Jade explained. She ran a hand through her hair and held in a frustrated growl.

"I meant what I said before. I never want to hurt you, but sometimes, it isn't up to me. It takes over..." Jade tried to continue, but her voice faded at the thought of killing Victoria. There had been a time when that sounded like a great idea, but not now. Not ever. She hadn't felt so separated from her beast than she did now. They were always a team. Every decision they made, they made together for the good of her survival. And now they were at odds. The human couldn't possibly understand what Jade was going through, but she could still try to comfort her.

"I don't want to push you, but I also think, no, I know, that you have more control than you give yourself credit for. I mean, I'm still alive after everything we've been through," Victoria pointed out.