**Chapter 20: The Moment of Truth**
I decided not to go to school for the rest of the week. Instead, I chose to binge and lounge, allowing myself to drown in a sea of food and mindless television. It was on the third day that I finally dragged myself to the shower, my eyes intentionally avoiding the mirror. I didn't need to see my reflection; I could feel my body—how it wobbled and jiggled, how it bulged.
After the shower, I grabbed another T-shirt that didn't quite reach past my deepening bellybutton and threw on some sweats that dug into my sides. My belly hung over the waistband, a heavy reminder of my indulgence. As I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I noted my clean, damp auburn hair cascading over my soft shoulders.
My round face looked cute; the soft cheeks held a natural blush. My round honey-colored eyes seemed deep, framed by thick lashes, while my full pink lips looked sweet. Yet, as my gaze traveled across my body, I felt a mix of emotions.
It was very womanly. My hips jutted out and came in at my waist, giving me a curvy silhouette despite my thick midsection. I noticed the side rolls and thick meaty love handles that accompanied my round belly, which overlapped my sweats but somehow felt almost cute. My breasts were large, defying gravity, and though they hung a little under their own weight, they still retained a certain perkiness.
Taking in my reflection completely, I was struck by a surprising realization. I was beautiful. Yes, I was fat—very fat—but I was beautiful. Maybe the fat was even a little sexy.
A blush crept into my cheeks as I processed the thought. I had made myself blush by considering myself sexy? Wow, how simple my libido had become.
With newfound determination, I decided it was time to weigh myself. I needed to know. It was just a number, after all.
I grabbed the scale, my heart racing slightly as I stepped on it. The scale creaked under my weight, and I couldn't help but think, God, please don't break.
As I looked down, I realized my belly was blocking the view of the number. I leaned forward, sucking in a little, but that didn't really help. With a sigh, I used my hands to push my huge belly in, finally getting a glimpse of the number.
289.7 lbs.
A pit formed in my stomach as the realization sank in. Almost 300 pounds. My hand still resting on my belly, I looked up at my reflection, my face a mask of complete astonishment.
What had I done to myself?
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