𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Belle

Belle

I think there's a point of irrevocable emptiness so deep that it'll never go back to the way it was.

"Who wants to go first," Our English teach Mr. Cline starts. "Belle or Everett?"

"By all means." I gesture for Everett to go first. Let's see what cheesy love poem he has today. "Go on, four eyes."

"Aw, I'm honored, smarties." He says placing his hand on his chest and walks up to the board. He pushes his slightly rounded glasses up his nose.

"Your theme is love." Mr. Cline says causing Everett to smirk at me mischievously.

To fall in love is to drown and hope for them to bring you back up for air. To hope they won't leave you to drown into a void of darkness.

I admit it's well written. But I can do better. In a non-arrogant type of way. Who am I kidding? I mean that in every arrogant way possible.

"Your theme is...depression." Mr. Cline mutters. This is my theme every time. Sadness and I are best friends. Sadness is my reason for being.

I close my eyes as I stand in front of the board. It takes me a moment to gather the words that are jumbled in my mind. And I let them pour out of me and onto the world.

To fall in a hole of darkness, a hole of sadness is something so darkly beautiful, you may never want to leave.

"She wins." Everett says running his hands through his brown hair that goes to the nape of his neck, curling slightly out at the tips.

As I should. Depression is something completely and utterly shattering that it can't help but win.

And how are you going to make the girl who's hanging on by a thread, whether you know it or not, lose?

How are you going to let someone on the deep end fall into that hole they've tried so desperately to stay out of?

"The winner of our two poets is the one and only Belle Luna." Mr. Cline says with a grin that radiates lies.

The class claps and mutters random crap I don't care to hear because they're annoying anyway. I glance at my poem one last time and sigh, it sucks.

Against my will and apparently my eyes have a mind of their own, I look at Everett.

He has his black headphones back on, his head down on the desk. His breathing is slightly steady as if he's sleeping.

Wow the dude actually shuts up for once, it's a gosh dang miracle. He looks peaceful as he sleeps.

His head turns slightly, his cheek gently resting on his arm. He looks like a little boy finally getting some sleep after the world just beat him up.

He looks like a child finally getting peace from the nightmare we call the world. I wonder what it's like to have peace.

"Literally what do you want from me?" I say annoyed as I look up at Everett who's looking down at me after class.

The dude is like six foot compared to my five three height. I guess here it's easier to kick him?
I roll my eyes at that God dang smirk he always has.

"Why are you always writing sad poems?" He asks as he takes a small step closer. Okay ew get away from me. I step back away from him.

"It's easier to write. Why do you write about love all the time? Aren't you single? What would you know about love?"

"You ask a lot of questions," He steps closer. "You know that? For someone who doesn't talk much you sure talk a lot to me."

"If I don't talk to you who's going to put that ego back in its place?" I roll my eyes at him as he pushes his glasses up.

"Oh, she's feisty too." He mutters and turns in a cocky way. "Bet I could put you in your place."

"I could put something in its place." I mutter as I have the sudden urge to slap him across that stupid face.

"I'd like to see you try actually," He sighs slightly. "You're too quiet maybe you should talk every once in a while."

"Maybe you should mind your business." I snap back at him clearly annoyed but he just laughs. He's getting under my skin and he knows it.

"And what if I want you to be my business?" He mutters and I look at him like he sounds ridiculous, which he does.

"Then that's your problem not mine." I smile sarcastically and walk away leaving him chuckling.

★ ★ ★

I've wanted to die for the past three years and not a single soul has known. I remember the exact night when I first saw a blade, felt the ache on my wrists, felt the want to cut but didn't.

That was the night I realized something inside me was truly broken. I've never taken a blade to the canvas we call our skin...yet.

But deep down in the depths of my soul that's slowly starting to blacken I can feel the light that was once there fading.

I think when you reach a point of emptiness it's hard to claw yourself out of a deep hole you tried to stay out of.

Sometimes it feels so empty, so hopeless, you lie awake at night and wonder what's wrong with you. What did you do wrong?

Where did this all start? I don't know the answer to that if I'm being completely honest. One day I guess something inside me just broke.

I would say loneliness actually. I've had friends, they left. Any guy I ever got close to being in a relationship left.

Even my own family makes me feel alone. In a family of five everyone has someone. My sister and brother have each other and then my parents.

But who has me? I mean I have Kylie who's my best friend but I'm sure even she has someone she'd pick over me.

Loneliness is like a shadow haunting you in the distance and always creeping around you. And suicide was a murderer.

Death was something inescapable, we were all born to die but for some...it comes sooner than it should.

For some people death was sitting right on their shoulder ready to consume them at any moment.

Authors note:
Not edited, keep rude comments to yourself please

I may or may not love to destroy my characters 🫶 or you guys 😥 I LOVE YOU 🤍 but hearts shall be broken 😔😋

Gah. Dang. How deep in a depression was I when I wrote that second half 😥😥 guys I'm scared of myself now