Love at first sight_ Maddison and Jason

2

I wait at the train station again, waiting for her. I do not even know her name.  It has been days I have not seen her on the platform. I hope she is alright.

I see people coming and going. It is soon 17:20, and she is not here. I start to think she is never going to take that train again. Maybe something happened, apart from last time? Perhaps she moved and no longer need the train? I raise my eyes and see her on another platform. My eyes widen at her view. She looks beautiful... the sun is partially bathing her clothes and legs mostly. I see her looking at her phone, typing something. A strand of hair falling on her face as she focuses. 

As my mind was captivated by her, I could not notice time had passed. Her vision is blocked by my train, arriving at the platform. I blink and my body ran to the underground, crossing the tunnel to join her side, her platform. As I finally finish to climb the stairs, I see her entering her train. I ran to her and get in right before the door closed. I look around, trying to find her.

As the crowd of people diminish, people sitting down, I see her walking to another wagon. I try to follow her. She sits and I finally succeed to go to her. I breath, not wanting to look like a total creep. Why did I do that? I should have taken my train. My hand felt on the seat in front of hers, and she raised her head, our eyes met. I feel as if I was blushing. 

"Sorry, is the seat taken?" I ask. She shakes her head. She must think I am crazy, giving me a look like that. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to follow you. I mean. I was hoping you'd come, but I am not saying that in a bad way." I stutter a little, stopping myself as it feels as if I was digging my own grave. She looked taken aback. She said nothing, turning her gaze back to her phone. I made her uncomfortable. I sit in front of her, uncomfortable.

After a long silence, I finally try to make conversation. "How have you been?" I ask, careful, but my voice cracked a bit. She raised her head, looking at me now. There was a small silence, then she spoke. "It's okay." Oh...she probably does not want to talk. She looked back at her phone. I look down. "How about you?" I raise my head at this hopeless thought of her voice asking this. I blink. "I'm fine." I say, having tension over her gaze.

After a bit, she spoke again. "If you did not meant to come in this train, why are you here?" She asked. I think about it. I wanted to talk to you. "It might sound classic, but I guess it was faith." I respond, unsure. I can feel her annoyance. "I apologies." I continue. "I know this is not normal thing to do." "So you do acknowledge you followed me." She pointed out. I swallow. I tried to speak, but she spoke first. "Do not do that again, please." "Of course, I understand." She nodded and I looked down. I'm so stupid.

"Thank you for caring about me." Her soft voice resonated in my head. "But do not stop me again." I raised my gaze back at her, stunned. She saw my gaze, she knows how I feel about that. "Do not give me that look, please. We do not know each other. You should not have interfere in my life, neither should I have had in yours." "Do not say that, please." I cut her sentence, my hand moving to hers on her lap. then I take it back. "Sorry." I apologised. "However, I am more than serious about that. As long as I am near, I will not let you fall." I said, looking right into her eyes. She avoided my gaze. "You might be a fool. Thinking you can help someone when all they want is some peace." Her voice betray a bit of bittersweet. I stay silent for a moment, trying to consider her point of view. But I cannot. I cannot even try to envision a world where someone's definition of peace is death. That must be such a dark vision, a life where happiness is drown by... I do not even know by what... Maybe it is like having a veil on colours? Can she see colours? I shake my head and focus back on her. "I do not consider myself as a fool, miss. I only wondered why a person would want to take their own life for peace." She raised an eyebrow. "So you are one of those selfish person, acting for their own peace in mind." She let out. I shake my head. "It is not what I intended to say." "But it is what it sounds like, according to your choice of words, Sir." She retorted.

A heavy silence created a pause in this discussion. "Why do you push me away?" "Would you let a stranger in? Especially a man when you are a woman." "Fair point. But I am not a stranger, we both used to take the same train every morning and evening for months." "So? Many people take the same train and never talk. And some talked but turns out we find the body later." "I am not a serial killer." "I did not implied that. But you are implying this." "I am not." The train stops. "You should get off the train before it gets too late, Sir. The cost will increase the more you get away from your home." "Are you trying to threaten me?" "No, I am warning you." We stop.

I sighed and stand up. I started to walk, but stopped. "Why have you changed trains?" I ask her. 

"I did not want to have this discussion with you." She answered.

"About your suicide attempt?"

"About your audacity." She replied. 

"So you take the wrong train every day, just to avoid me?" I asked softly, my voice trembling slightly. Her gaze met mine, her lips parting as if to speak, but no words came. I hopped to hear a word from her, anything... but nothing... Her silence spoke for her. I could clearly understand the truth. Without adding a word, I stepped off the train before it could leave. She did not try to stop me, at least I think she did not. I never looked back until the train's departure. I could not see her face anymore... Perhaps it was for the better. I think, my chest slightly hurting.