"Left" nick and charlie story

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Charlie's POV
I wake up and see that nick had gone home while I was sleeping. I sigh and get up walking to the bathroom and I look in the mirror. 'Why did he have to leave' I think tears welling in my eyes again. "Fuck" I turn on the shower and start to wash my body.
"Charlie?" I hear toris voice through the bathroom door as i shut off the water. "y..yeah?" I say my voice quivering as i try not to break down again. "Um....the funeral is happening in 3 days so....mom is taking us shopping for some clothes." I start to cry as she says that and get dressed quickly as i respond with a muffled yeah. As i walk to my room i grab my phone and go to call nick. "Pick up nick....pls." I say but it goes to voice-mail and i sigh. I look over to my bedside table and feel an urge in my arms....like an itch.
TW: SH
I open my drawr from my night stand and grab my blades as i roll up my sleeve and press the blade lightly to my skin not penitrating it yet. Then my eyes well and i remember all the memories of tao and i and press harder and start to cut. After 20 new cuts i look down and wince the adreniline wearing thin as I clean my fresh wounds with a napkin and roll some gauz on them. I sigh and look in the mirror as I see how red and puffy my eyes are. "Charlie,its time to eat." I hear my mother call and grimace at the thought of eating. I walk down the steps and grab my food. "Is it ok if i eat in my room?" I ask hiping to get away. My mom sighs "ok....but charlie make sure you take care of your plate understand?" I nod and walk back upstairs wuockly and shut my door theowing the fokd in a back. I lay on my bed snd text nick.

N-nick C-charlie

C- hey nick you awake?

N- oh yeah char you doing ok?
C-i guess.....can we meet up before the funeral on sunday?

N-ofc char

C-ok....night i love you❤

N-i love you too char ❤

I smile a bit at my phone when my sleeves start to slide up and i see my wounds. I shut my eyes 'I should tell nick....but what if be thinks im disgusting?' Tears start to stream as I silently sob, pulling the covers on me and falling asleep
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Wow i cant believe a few people actually read these....kinda embarassing cause honestly these arent the best but if you have any suggestions comment them.
Thanks :)