My shitty Life

A weird feeling

I woke up, forced myself to get out of bed and look in the mirror...

I felt bad for the way I look, I just want to be perfect like all the other girls...

The thoughts are overwhelming, i somehow manage to walk to my closet, grab a pair of baggy jeans and an oversized hoodie and get dressed. I walk in the bathroom and grab completely unmotivated my tooth-brush and brushed my teeth...Then i just brush my hair and put it in a messy ponytail before i leave and go to the bus station.

I stand there in the rain, without umbrella, i dont really care...but then...then a beautiful girl approached me, i thought she would laugh at me but no...she stood next to me and held her umbrella above our heads...she is so fucking beautiful

...i feel a ...weird feeling in my stomach...its like butterflys would fly in there it feels beautiful but also strange...i mean it cant be love...right? im a girl, i cant love other girls...im supposed to love men...not girls/womens...i just kept hiding my blush and i try to overplay the feeling...i start a conversation...maybe that will help...

"Excuse me? uhm...Good Morning...may i ask who you are?" i ask with all my courage. "oh right, good morning, my name is Elizabeth...You were standing in the rain so i thought you may would like to be under an umbrella...i didnt brought another one so we have to share this one, i hope it wasnt to strange..." she answered. Her voice is so soft, calm and she is just...just perfect.... "uhm well thanks, which class are you in?" i asked, wanting to definetley visit her. "oh im in class 9 B, which are you in may i ask?" gooooooood her voice is so ...it sounds like from an angel "uhm...im in class... 8 c...its the classroom next to the teachers parking lot"...its clear that i wanted to speak more with her but the bus came so i ended the conversation.

 I still have this feeling in my stomach and my head feels misty, i just cant stop thinking about her...but it cant be love, maybe i just like her not romantic...i go in the bus and spot an empty seat where i immedeatley go in. I pull my earphones out my bagpack and play some music so i dont have to hear the many, noisy people- The song Lunch by Billie eilish starts playing and i feel the strange feeling again i dont know if its just the theme of the song or still Elizabeth...the way her name is stuck in my mind is...somehow scary but mostly strange...finally after god damned half hour the bus arrives at the school, i grab my bag and leave the bus.

I walk in my classroom which is still empty (no people).