Eminence (Wattpad Edition)

Note 18 - Tell Me How You Really Feel

After lunch, Theo pulled up to the corner store near Warren's house. Jack said he needed to grab a few things and waved off the idea of a ride back, it was only a ten-minute walk, after all.

When Theo parked the car in the garage and stepped into the house, Warren was in the kitchen making something for himself.

"Hello..." Theo said.

"Welcome back..." Warren replied, not looking up from the pan.

Theo sat at the breakfast table, unsure where to start. Warren broke the silence first.

"Can we talk?"

"No, you don't have my blessing to marry my son."

"What? No—I mean, about us."

"I'm taken."

"That's not what I—look, Jack's at the store. You don't have to pretend with me. I want to know how you feel. About everything. About us."

Warren stopped what he was doing and turned, arms crossed. His eyes held no hostility.

"Honestly? I don't know how I feel."

"Jack's worried that you're angry with him. I told him you were angry with me."

"That's because Jack was crying and apologizing to me last night. I thought you hurt him, and that he blamed himself."

"Well... he does blame himself for what happened."

Warren's tone sharpened. "What happened, Theo?"

Theo looked away, shame creeping in. "It was a coincidence I ran into him downtown. He was with some older guy, clearly drunk. I stepped in. He got upset. Said he'd only let me tag along if I kept buying him drinks. We both got drunk, so I brought him to my place, it was walking distance. I asked if he wanted the couch or the bed and... Maybe he thought maybe sex would help. We stopped midway. I took him here. That's it."

Warren scoffed, shaking his head.

"What?"

"Sorry," Warren said. "It's just... both a relief and an infuriating sight to see how much you care about Jack."

Theo looked down.

"I'm really sorry, Warren. I know it doesn't mean much, but I am. My intentions weren't to take advantage of Jack. I don't even know why I embraced him. I just... couldn't resist. It felt, never mind. I know you don't want to hear this."

"You're right. I don't want to hear about your feelings or why you hooked up with Jack." Warren's gaze narrowed. "And I don't like the idea of you being with him, either. Like you said, he's running from grief, it's too much. But how Jack feels isn't something I get to control. If he wants to see you, I won't stand in the way."

He took a breath, and exhaled slowly. "There is something I do want to hear, though. What did you see in my memories, when you forced your way into my head? Tell me it was worth what you did."

Theo was quiet for a long moment.

"Your memories were flooded with her, Emanon. I saw how much you love her. I felt it. At the time, I didn't understand. I was angry, relieved, and confused. I mistook you and Jack for someone else. I saw the state Emanon was in, and I thought... I thought punishing you for it would–"

He swallowed hard.

"I was wrong. What happened to you wasn't your fault. How you reacted, it wasn't either. But I shamed you out of spite. And I'm sorry. You have every right to hate me. You can reject me completely, and I'll take that. But I was hoping..." Theo hesitated. "I was hoping you'd let me carry a piece of that pain, too."