One Direction BSM

He finds out you self harm Louis BSM Part 2

Part 2

It had been 5 months since Harry had caught you self harming and told Louis. Naturally, Louis told the boys and they promised to help in every way they could. Two months ago Louis and the boys had started tour in the U.S. and Louis had taken you with him. You already shared a flat and Louis was too afraid to leave you alone.

(just pretend Zayn's there because it's too hard to know he's not 😰)

You were getting annoyed, being watched constantly by the boys, including 5sos. And by constantly someone had to go in the bathroom with you and someone had to sleep in your bed with you. Mainly that was Louis, but the other boys made sure you were never alone. If you were ever caught alone, you'd receive a scolding and then had to go with one of the boys.

But finally, five months later Louis had let you use the restroom alone, shower alone, and sleep by yourself. He even let you stay by yourself for limited amounts of time, and Harry was quite against it. He was afraid you'd relapse and to be honest, he was right. You knew you weren't better, but nobody can live without privacy, so you pretended you were. Now you were on tour with the boys and sitting backstage, waiting for them to go on. Tonight was your chance and you had to do it. You'd been getting urges and you couldn't resist them any longer.

"Okay y/n, Zayn, Liam, Niall, Harry and I have to go on stage. Luke, Ashton, Mikey and Calum will be here soon. Stay here and we love you, okay?" You nod, give each of them a hug and wish them good luck.

'Now, it's time' you thought to yourself and ran into Liam's dressing room to find his razor. He had shaved right before the show so he had to have one. Finally you located it sitting in the way back of his bathroom cupboard. First you broke of the head of the razor and then you stomped down on it, breaking the plastic and setting loose the 3 razorblades. Two you put in your right high top converse for later and the other one you placed on your wrist. You pushed down and pulled back, pushed down and pulled back over and over until your wrist was covered in blood.
'The next one now' you say quietly to yourself and switch wrists, again pushing down and pulling back.

"Y/n? Love? Where are you?" You recognize both Luke and Mikey's voices and you start randomly slashing your arm, trying to make the most out of the few precious seconds you have left.

"Y/n!" You hear Luke yell and he dives for your hand holding the blade. He grabs it and flushes it down the toilet.
"No Luke stop! Please!" You cry, trying to get to your shoe for the other blades. Luke takes your hands in one of his and tries to calm you down, but you're too upset.

"Boys! Help!" Three sets of heavy footsteps come running and stop in front of the bathroom.

"Y/n?" Calum's voice asks into the bathroom, both Mikey and Ashton behind him.

"Michael and Ashton, can you clean her up a bit? I'll stay here and clean up, Calum, can you help me?" Luke says calmly and begins to wipe your blood from the floor where it had dripped. They nod silently and Ashton picks you up bridal style. Mikey grabs the first aide kit and follows you both.

Ashton sets you down on the couch backstage, right in the room where the boys come off stage.

Michael takes your right wrist and wipes it off while Ashton does the same to your left wrist. You wiggled around but the boys were much stronger so they held you down. It stung, but you knew better than to scream now. Louis or one of the boys would hear you.

Louis.

You had forgotten how hard Louis had worked to help you get better, all the hours he had spent watching you, all the sleepless nights worrying about you.
'How could I do this to him' you wonder and begin sobbing. Michael (who has finished with your wrist) envelops you in a big hug and starts swaying you back and fourth.

"Hey shh it's okay shh" Ashton whispers finishing up with your wrist and sitting next to you on the couch.

You see Luke walk out and open his arms and you gratefully walk into them. You and Luke were close, as you were about 2 years apart.

"I'm s..ssorry" you sob into Luke's shirt and he rubs your back.

"Shh baby it's okay shh" he guides you over to the couch and sits you on his lap gently so you are straddling him (do not be dirty) He leans you on his chest and presses your head to his heart.

"Steady your breathing okay? Listen to my heart and copy that with your breathing" he adds quietly and you sit with him until Louis and the boys get off stage.

"Hey Bo... Y/n!" Louis runs over to you and try's to pull the bandages off your wrists.

"Louie stop I'm fine" you say and he gives you a sad look.

"Where are the rest of them?" Liam asks from his dressing room, staring at you.

"They're thrown away" you say simply but your voice is shaky. A dead give away you're lying. 

"Okay, truth now" Luke says and stares at you and you start crying.

"They're in my shoe" you sob and Louis takes you in his arms and picks you up.

"Baby it's okay, it's okay" he starts rocking you back and fourth while Zayn takes off your left shoe and Niall takes off your right.

"Got them" Niall says and throws them in the trash bin.

Later that night you and Louis are on the tour bus cuddling, after he reassured you that he would get you better, no matter how long it took. And slowly, you got better and were the happiest you'd ever been.

Hey guys. Sorry I've been gone so long, I haven't had internet at all. I was going to write and update last night but I  just found out my dog has cancer. They think they found it too late, but she's on medicine to help. Love you guys

(Btw if you have Kik message me in wattpad and I'll give you my Kik)