Crooked

The death of Chris Miles

And there they were, Chelle and Tony, Anwar, Maxxie and his boyfriend, Sid and all of their friends, and of course she was there. Jalander, Jal, the boy who was being buried right in front of their eyes girlfriend. And a soon to be mom, to the dead boys child.

To her friends and her family she had said she got the abortion, only Chelle and she herself knew that wasn't the case, but as time went on she figured they would figure out she had lied. But as of right now she was relieved to have them of her back, like she wasn't carrying enough already.

Tears pored from her eyes as the priest had his little preach, nothing he said sounded like something Chris would have believed in, not something he would have wanted.

"Jal, you okay?" Michelle asked her, and as Jal was ripped from her depressing thoughts she suddenly noticed the tears streaming down her face, and she really didn't know how to stop them. She looked over to Michelle, who was standing in Tony's arms, she looked sad and at the same time she looked like the entirety of her wasn't sad, like she hadn't just lost a piece of her she hadn't even know existed, didn't know that she had or needed. Jal felt that way, and she was jealous of Chelle, jealous of her having Tony and not her, well Jal didn't want Tony but still, Chelle still had her boyfriend and Jal didn't. 

"No, I don't think so, I don't think I'll ever be okay again." She would have said, but she didn't need those looks  of symphaty from everyone, so instead she nodded and said, "Yea."

Michelle nodded and her focus was back down the hill, back to their friends funeral. She could feel everyone's sadness, the way that the vibe who had constantly been good no matter the circumstances suddenly were... off, and they all knew why.

"You know, he would have wanted us to go on, to find our passion in life and party like hell." Sid suddenly said, with a hint of a smile. "Yea, Chris wasn't like anyone else I've ever known, he found a party in everything no matter the consequences" Anwar said, looking up the sky like he was talking directly to Chris. They hadn't wanted to wear black when watching the funeral from their hill, so they all wore colourful clothes. Jal had a loose yellow dress, hiding the small bump that had formed on her belly, she resisted the urge to put a protecting hand on her belly, because she knew that her friends would understand and send her even more looks of sympathy.

The priest said his last prayer and Chris coffin was put into the ground. "When Chris and I got togheter, he told me that I was the first person who asked him to try, and he told me that for once in his life he actually tried. Because he felt like he had something to try for, someone to try for. And I remember him saying it like it was just me he was trying for, but now I know, that it was all of you too. He knew that there was a high risk of him dying, I think that was why he was always on pills, to forget the fact that he could very well end up the same way as his brother" Jal said, pausing briefly to wipe away the tears that insisted on falling. Everyone was looking at her, and she was looking down at Chris, " and he did, end up like his brother. But that isn't the point of this, he actually tried to get of off the pills, he tried. And he did it for us, for the people who love him the most, because even though he rarely, if ever, told us he loved us I know he did. So, Chris, I love you, we love you. And this isn't a goodbye, because in our hearts you'll never be gone." She said the last sentence with a weak voice. And then she just couldn't stand, she couldn't look at Chris, or the people crying around her, or the sky or anything else.

Then she felt hands around her waist and looked behind her to see Maxxie holding her up. "He really loved us all, didn't he?" He said, not just to her but to everyone. Michelle was crying silently, and Tony was crying not so silently with big tears streaming down his face, Anwar looked like he was lost in another world, Maxxie looked like he had cried, but he was also smiling.