Trackside Tensions (Carlando Landoscar Charlos)

Shattered Bonds

The early evening light cast long shadows across Charles's apartment, the golden hue doing little to warm the chill in the air. Charles stood in the middle of his living room, the silence around him almost deafening. The atmosphere was heavy, filled with the remnants of a dinner that had been overshadowed by a confrontation that neither could ignore any longer.

Alexandra stood opposite him, her posture tense and rigid. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, as if she were physically bracing herself against the storm of emotions swirling between them. The table, once set with a modest meal, now stood as a stark reminder of their failed attempts to reconnect. The plates and glasses were untouched, the evening's culinary offerings forgotten in the face of their argument.

"You know, Charles, I can't keep doing this," Alexandra's voice cut through the silence, sharp and laden with frustration. Her tone was both pained and defiant. "We haven't had a real conversation in days, and every time I try, you're either distant or dismissive. What's going on with you?"

Charles rubbed the back of his neck, his fingers digging into his skin as if he could somehow find the right words to alleviate the tension. "It's just... racing and everything. It's been so overwhelming. I didn't mean to shut you out, but it's like I can't switch off from it."

Alexandra's eyes narrowed, her expression a mixture of hurt and anger. "Is it just the racing? Or is there something else? Because it feels like you've been pushing me away for weeks. You've been cold and unresponsive."

The weight of her words settled heavily on Charles's shoulders. He sighed deeply, feeling the gravity of her frustration. "It's not just the racing. I've been trying to handle everything, and I guess I didn't realize how much I was shutting you out. I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't enough," Alexandra retorted, her voice trembling as she struggled to hold back tears. "We've been fighting over this for weeks. And you know what? I feel like that kiss you had with Oscar last time you went out partying was more than just good fun."

Charles's face flushed with a mixture of guilt and defensiveness. "That was nothing. It was just... a stupid mistake. We really were just having fun."

"A mistake?" Alexandra's voice was incredulous, her eyes wide with disbelief. "It's like you've been drifting away, and then you're kissing someone else. How do you expect me to react? I'm tired of feeling like a second choice."

Charles's movements became agitated as he stood up, pacing a few steps before turning back to face her. "That kiss meant nothing. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I'm with you, not with Oscar."

Alexandra's eyes were wet with unshed tears, her face a portrait of pain. "But you don't seem to care. You're so wrapped up in your own world that you don't even see how much this is hurting me."

Charles's heart ached as he watched her, his own emotions in turmoil. "I do care. I care a lot. But right now, I'm just... not in a good place. I need to figure things out."

"Figure things out?" Alexandra echoed, shaking her head slowly, her voice tinged with resignation. "You need to figure out if you actually want to be with me or not. Because I can't keep being in this limbo, wondering if you're actually present or if you're somewhere else, having fun kissing other people."

Charles's expression softened with regret. "I never meant to hurt you. But maybe... maybe this isn't working. Maybe we need to... take a break."

Alexandra's eyes widened with surprise and then closed with resignation. "A break? Or a breakup? Because if you're already thinking about taking a break, it's clear we're not where we need to be."

Charles's voice was barely above a whisper, his resolve faltering. "I think... it's better if we end things now. It's not fair to either of us to keep pretending."

The silence that followed was heavy, filled with the finality of their decision. Alexandra nodded slowly, her face a mask of pain and acceptance. "If that's what you think is best, then... I guess we're done."

She collected her things with a mechanical efficiency, her movements devoid of the warmth they once held. Each motion seemed to accentuate the finality of their separation. As she headed towards the door, she paused, her back to Charles. "I hope you know I was never the one pretending, Charles."

Charles watched as she walked out, the door clicking shut behind her with a sound that reverberated in the empty room. The silence that followed seemed to close in on him, amplifying his inner turmoil. His heart pounded with a mix of guilt, relief, and confusion, leaving him feeling hollow and disoriented.

In his desperation and loneliness, Charles picked up his phone and dialed Oscar's number, seeking solace from someone who might offer him clarity. As the phone rang, Charles's fingers trembled slightly, the weight of his emotions pressing down on him.

The phone rang a few times before Oscar's groggy voice came through, laced with sleep.

"Hello?" Oscar's voice was deep and raspy, a stark contrast to the emotional upheaval Charles was experiencing. The sound of a distant fan and the rustling of sheets indicated that Charles had likely interrupted Oscar's rest.

"Hey, Oscar," Charles said, his voice faltering slightly as he tried to steady it. "I'm sorry for calling. I didn't know who else to reach out to."

Oscar yawned, his voice thick with sleep. "Charles? What's going on? It's the middle of the night here."

Charles's heart sank as he realized the time difference. "I didn't mean to wake you. I just... had a rough day. Alexandra and I... we broke up."

Oscar's voice grew more alert, the concern evident despite the early hour. "Oh, Charles. I'm really sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it?"

Charles took a deep breath, his emotions raw and his voice trembling. "Yeah, I think I need to. As you know, we've been having issues for a while, and tonight it all came to a head. I've been distant, and... I don't know, I think it was more than just the racing."

Oscar listened intently, his voice soothing and comforting. "It sounds like you're going through a lot right now. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. Sometimes it helps to talk it out."

Charles nodded, even though Oscar couldn't see him. "It's just that I feel like I've been so lost lately. I've been thinking about a lot of things... about my life, and even about that kiss with you."

Oscar's voice was gentle and reassuring. "The kiss? You're still thinking about that?"

Charles hesitated, his mind racing with conflicting emotions. "Yeah. I don't know what it means. I don't even know if I'm bi or gay or if it was just a reaction to everything falling apart."

Oscar's voice was calm and understanding. "It's okay to be confused. Sometimes these moments help us figure out what we really want. It doesn't have to be clear right away."

The conversation continued into the early hours, Oscar offering comfort and wisdom from across the globe. Charles felt a strange mixture of gratitude and confusion, realizing how much he relied on Oscar's presence. The call provided a brief respite from the emotional storm, even if it didn't offer all the answers Charles sought.

When the conversation finally ended, Charles sat in the silence of his apartment, the echoes of their talk swirling in his mind. The room felt both empty and full, the quietness amplifying his internal chaos. He felt a strong desire to be around Oscar, but at the same time, he couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. He had just ended his relationship with Alexandra, and yet all he could think of was wishing Oscar were there with him.

As the night stretched on, Charles remained awake, the weight of his decisions and emotions pressing down on him. The silence of his apartment seemed to mirror the uncertainty and confusion within him, leaving him to grapple with his thoughts and feelings as he faced the dawn of a new and uncertain chapter in his life.

Knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep anyways and very aware of the fact that he needed a second opinion,  Charles decided to call Carlos. Carlos was the only person he felt might help him navigate his emotions and offer a different perspective. Feeling a mix of urgency and uncertainty, he dialed Carlos's number, his heart racing as he waited for the call to connect.

The phone rang only once.