Outcasts | 5 Slytherins 1 Hermione | REVERSE HAREM

XVI

Stumbling down the hall, Hermione paused to collect herself, her heart pounding in her chest and her mind a whirlwind of emotions after what had just happened with Mattheo. She thought he might come after her and try to make things right. A tinge of disappointment shot through her when she turned and saw the end of his robes disappearing in the other direction, out of sight. She needed to find a place to gather herself before she ran after him and demanded... what exactly? She wasn't really sure. Spotting the girls' loo, she hurried inside.

The cold, tiled room was empty, save for the echo of her hurried footsteps. Hermione approached the sink, turned on the tap, and splashed cold water on her face. The shock of the icy water against her skin was a welcome distraction from the turmoil inside her. She took a few deep breaths, feeling the chill seep into her bones, grounding her.

There was so much uncertainty and confusion regarding her feelings for Mattheo. She technically had no claim on him, but did she really want one? She still found him to be annoyingly smug, an utter arsehole, only tolerable when she was blinded with lust. The only thing he was good for was to sit there and look pretty while his mates made her feel weightless. Except... except that she couldn't get the day in the library out of her mind.

The intimacy she felt while leaning into him as he guided her through her meditation. How vulnerable she felt while in his mind, while he was in hers. It was as if, in that single act, they were baring their souls to one another. The intensity of the moment was almost overwhelming, a raw and unfiltered exchange of emotions that neither had ever dared to reveal before. Hearing and experiencing his thoughts and feelings made her... if she thought about it too long, it became too much.

All this bottled-up emotion threatened to explode out of her. It made her want to march back to him. Find him and show him exactly how he made her feel. She wanted to hurt him. Watch him writhe in pain at her feet almost just as much as she wanted to worship him.

She could see herself plunging a cursed blade through this posh dragonhide shoe while simultaneously undoing his buckle to submit to him properly. It was maddening, the push and pull of her psyche and her desires' ups and downs.

"Occlude it away," she whispered to herself, closing her eyes and focusing on her Occlumency training. Slowly, she felt the emotions being compartmentalized, pushed back into the recesses of her mind where they couldn't hurt her. She put the memories and feelings in a book and filed it away.

Opening her eyes, she looked at herself in the mirror, the dulled fire in her eyes, the indifferent look on her face. She suddenly realized she had seen this exact look on all her Slytherins. She cast a quick series of charms to fix her tear-stained face. The redness in her eyes faded, and her cheeks lost their blotchy appearance. Satisfied with her reflection, she took one last deep breath before heading out to find Theo and Draco.

The corridors were quieter now, with students having dispersed to their various classes or common rooms. Hermione's footsteps echoed as she went to the Slytherin common room, where she hoped to find them. Taking steadying breaths, she realized why Occlumency was such a valuable tool. It allowed her to maintain control, especially in moments when it wasn't the time or place to let her emotions explode.

She turned a corner, and there they were, Theo and Draco, leaning against the wall and engaged in a quiet conversation. They looked up as she approached, their faces shifting to ones of concern.

"Hermione," Draco started, rushing up to her, "are you okay?"

She nodded, forcing a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I'm fine. I just needed a moment."

Theo stepped closer, his gaze searching her face. "What happened?"

"Mattheo," she said simply, the name carrying its own weight. "It's nothing I can't handle. I just needed to clear my head."