𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲

Postpartum Depression

||~Angel~||
Angel helped Charlie set the decorations around for Halloween, excitement thrumming through him. He's always loved Halloween, even as a little kid. He always took opportunities to dress up with his sister.

They'd always force his brother to join in.

"Aw, it's Minerva's first Halloween!" Charlie squealed, no doubt excited. Angel smiled, looking down at his daughter. It's been a couple of months now and she's already growing her hair out.

He cradled her, whispering sweet nothings to her until he felt two arms wrap around his waist. "Good morning, Mon Ange." Alastor's smooth, static voice filled the room. Angel leaned into him, "Morning, smiles." He kissed his cheek and the Radio Demon's ear twitched.

"Hello there, Mon Petite." Alastor greeted, gently taking Minerva's fisted hand and shaking it. Minerva giggled, static filling the room once more.

"Oh, how I love it when she does that," Alastor sighed, "I'll teach her how to use a radio and to keep away from that blasted new technology." Angel smiled, laughing a little. "Course you will, Al."

Charlie squealed once more, "I'm so happy you two are happy! Oh my dad, I think I'm going to cry."

Angel rolled his eyes with a small chuckle, his gaze landing on the portrait of Sir Pentious. He frowned slightly.

Pentious would've made a good uncle. He would have loved Minerva, so would have the Egg Bois.

"What's wrong, darling?" Alastor asked gently. Angel merely shrugged, "Dunno. Just thinking about how Pentious would've absolutely loved Minerva, I guess."

Although Alastor was not as acquainted with Pentious as much as the others, he did not like seeing his darling spider upset.

"Mon cher, I'm sure he would have. But we cannot change the past, all we can do is move forward." He kissed Angel's cheek, who smiled a little.

"Mm, I know. I know. How the fuck are you so good with words?" Angel looked at his boyfriend, who laughed along with a tiny laugh track behind it. "Oh, my love, I just am."

~~~

Angel sat beside Alastor on their shared bed, holding his daughter as they watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. 

It took a lot of convincing and promising some fun to Alastor so he would watch the movie with Angel and Minerva.

"This picture-show does not make any sense, Angel. I mean, 'The Pumpkin King'?" Angel shot him a look and he quieted down, resting his head against his beau's soft breasts, he wrapped an arm around Angel and gently held onto his daughter's tiny hand, who giggled when the mayor panicked comically over Jack's disappearance.

"This is nice." Angel whispered. Alastor looked at him questionably, "What is?" He asked. The spider looked down at Alastor, a warm smile on his face as he gestured to the three of them cuddled up together, "This. Us. All of it. I never thought I'd become a dad -- or a mom, in this sense -- but here I am, holding my daughter with my hus -- boyfriend," Angel paused before continuing, "So this is nice. It's nice having peace and quiet for once. To be able to just... relax with you."

Alastor scoffed, "And you say you are not good with words." He rested one hand on Minerva, allowing her to play with his gloved fingers.

~~~

It was the middle of the night. Minerva was crying and shrieking again.

Alastor was more on the heavy sleeper side, as shown with his soft static snores. Angel opened his eyes, taking a deep breath before getting up to go soothe his crying daughter.

He picked her up from her crib, attempting to hush her cries. "Please, Minnie. Stop crying." Angel felt horrible as her cries grew, "Please." He cradled her against his soft chest, but she still cried nonetheless.

Angel's eyes welled up with tears. His baby wouldn't stop crying, she was always fussy, and it overwhelmed him greatly. He felt like he wasn't doing a good job at parenting.
Jesus Christ, he's a horrible parent...

"Minerva..." He whispered her name, tears rolling down his face, sitting down on the rocking chair beside her crib and trying to soothe her.
Slowly, the doe's cries lowered into soft sniffles. He gingerly placed her in her crib, then quietly opened the balcony door, in need of fresh air.

He took the pack of cigarettes on the glass table along with the lighter, lighting the tip and breathing it in.

He exhaled, pink smoke swirled around him. He looked at the sky, the stars red but shining anyway. He forgot how the stars looked in the human realm. Did they look as disgusting as the ones in Hell? Did they die out into a red color?

He forgot how they looked. He forgot how the grass looked. He forgot the sky. The clouds. The real fresh air.

Everything.

Everything except his mistakes.

Soon, he began to cry again. He didn't feel like a good parent. Was he doing a good job? Was he being a good mom? He wouldn't know, he didn't have good parents growing up.

"Mon Cher? Are you alright?" Angel didn't need to look over to know who it was. 

Alastor stood there, concern written on his face. "You are smoking his cigarettes." He pointed out. Angel felt guilty about it, but he couldn't help it.

He was an addict, after all.

"I know." Angel then muttered, "I don't think I'm being a good parent, Al." Alastor's ears perked, now intrigued, "Why would you ever think that?" He asked, now standing beside Angel.

The arachnid leaned his head against the stag's shoulder. Alastor wrapped an arm around him. "I don't know. I just... I just think I'm doing it wrong. That I'm not being a good parent and shit like that." He took another drag of his cigarette, exhaling the poisonous pink he became so used to as it wrapped around his throat like a collar to the chain.

A branding.

||~Alastor~||
Alastor hated that smoke. Hated the foul scent that followed it. He hated even looking at it. It reminded him and Angel of that pathetic excuse of a being.

"I think she hates me." Angel laughed sadly, his eyes never leaving the sky. Alastor's eternal smile wobbled at the edges, "She does not hate you, mon petite Araignée. She is a fawn, she will cry when she is fussy. I am sorry I am not able to help at night as often as I'd like, but please Angel, wake me up when she cries. I want to lessen the load you have on your shoulders," He gently turned Angel's head by his chin to look at him, "We are in this together, remember? You are not alone in this, and I want to be there every step of the way."

Angel's eyes watered slightly, "Even if it meant losing what little sleep you already get?" Alastor laughed, "I've always been a bit of an insomniac, my love. 'Losing' more sleep will not make a difference." He kissed his beau's forehead. 

He gingerly took the cigarette from Angel's hand, "But this is not a good way to cope. Please, my dear, find a new way for this is not a good option." Alastor crushed the cigarette beneath the sole of his shoe.

Angel nodded slowly, "Okay."