My REAL Life

Nightingale

I entered her room,
it's dark.
The window is big enough to let the city lights pass through it, there she is,
sitting at the edge of her bed, hands covering her face.
A sweet melody comes from the cellphone,
it's Nightingale,
by Demi Lovato,
I know what it means,
I know what it all means and I don't like it,
actually, I hate it.
I sit by her side,
not a word being spoken,
we just stay there paying atention to the song,
I put my arm around her shoulders and I try cleaning her tears with my hand,
I don't like seeing how she cries,
I don't like the meaning she gives to this song, I don't like who she is thinking about, but mostly: I don't like the meaning I give to the song.
"it's okay, you can cry if you want to" I tell her when the song is over.
She hugs me and I hug her back.
Her soft hair falling down her back.
Only the moonlight lighting up her skin,
we are alone now,
the guys left a moment ago,
this would be the perfect moment,
just the two of us,
alone.
"why love hurts so much?" She asks with her head on my chest
" you are asking this because of him, aren't you?" I tell her as I try to see her face
"you know it's always him"
"Yeah, I know" "sometimes, I wish he didn't exist... I hate him" I say with an obvious hate coming out of my eyes.
"he saved me, you can't hate him, he makes me happy and you know that."
"He makes you cry, that's all I know"
"I can't help feeling like this, I love him so much it hurts"
Words cut like knifes.
I know that feeling, she made me feel like that all the time and she knew it, why is she telling me this? it hurts, loving her hurts.
"You have an oportunity"
"What?"
"You can be with him if you want"
"That's not true"
"It is, you know him. You go with him once a month, it's not imposible anymore"
"No, I go with my friends once a month"
"It's the same, he is part of that group"
"Yet, I havent tell him anything"
"Anything?"
"Anything, we don't talk, he just stays there, in the couch, looking at all of us, maybe thinking I'm a weirdo"
"He doesn't know your story?"
"No, no one does, just you, the girls and Ed"
"Why? I mean, you just said he saved your life, he should now that"
"I don't want him to know, it's personal, I don't want him to see me different, I don't know, it is... agh" she says dropping frustrated
Difficult to understand, that's what she means, I understand her, I always do. Although I wish she understood  me too.
"That doesn't mean you don't have an oportunity"
"Stop it! Please! He will never see me as anything! I'm just the crazy little fan he met that day and that know is magically best friends' with his best friend"
Crying, she is crying, and it's my fault. I hated him for making her cry every night and now I was the one making her feel like shit.
What have I done?
Sadness
sadness is all you can breathe in this room, we are all sad.
Love is the main reason, if it is such a beautiful feeling then why it hurts so much?
my heart is on pain.
even if something happened between us, she will never see me like that, she will never love me like she loves him, her heart is taken, and it belongs to someone alse, someone alse but me.
He will never love her the way I do.
He will never be her night ingale and she,
she will never be mine.
He was so lucky,
yet he didn't knew.
A heart with walls and
he could just walk through them.
She was totally open to him, she never did that, but with him it was different.
Life teached her to be cold
she builded that walls
I told her to tear them down,
But know that she did it
he brought her down.
I tell myself to stop, maybe I should build my own walls.
"What are you thinking of?" I found her looking at me, with those green eyes, piercing me.
Don't do that love, it's not helping me. And I can't help but to want those lips on me.
"I'm sorry, for making this to you"
"What?"
"I know you love me Luke" "my heart is taken, I know you know that two, I wish I love you like you love me, believe me, I wish I could"
"I wish you were happy, that's all I wish for you, maybe not with me, but with him you
could" "I will help you, I promise that too, it will hurt but at least I will see a shine again on you"
I say cuping her face on my hands and pressing a small kiss on her lips, the first and last one of all.