commitment.

2

after i got home from the shoot with sakari i immediately started working on her pictures. i picked 2-3 from each set so i could send them to sakari. i mindlessly edited then a thought popped into my head, it was sakaris words... i believe you can be doing more.
"fucking- really?" i said. to myself. i picked up my phone and called sakari.
"hey caelan. what's up?"
"yea hi, what did you mean that you believe i can be doing more?" i said. sakari let out a small laugh.
"it means that you can and should be doing more. you're so capable of doing amazing things and yet you're stuck being staff at an art show. your work should've been on display! i just want to see you succeed to a different degree than the one you're currently at."

"okay but WHY? why me?"
"what can i say... i love art." sakari said.
"i-i... okay. thanks i guess."
"you're welcome, you finish the pictures from today?"
"yes they are basically done... i'll email them to you."
"no, just text them to me. i appreciate you. i paid you already right?"
"yep, i just sent them. i'll uh see you later."
"wait! i have an event coming up. can you come?"
"when?"
"tomorrow at 6, dress nice."
"okay i just have to get everything off my sd card. all of them are full s-"
"it's not a job Caelan. i'm inviting you, as my plus one." sakari said. i made up my face a bit.
"okay.. i'll be there, where is it?"

"i'll send a car for you, there's no parking."
"okay i guess... see you tomorrow."
"goodnight." sakari said. i could hear the smile in her voice.

the following evening i got ready and still brought a camera with me just in case. hey an unofficial shoot was still a shoot right? i left out my apartment to find a buick enclave being driven by sakari. i rolled my eyes as i opened the passenger door.
"i thought you said there was no parking?"
"there isn't. well not for plus ones anyways. you look nice though, why did you bring your camera bag?"
"oh... just in case i don't know."
"i don't want you to end up as 'the picture person' just enjoy the event. okay?"

"i will. i can enjoy it and take pictures. what's the event for anyways?"
"it's just a dinner. a chance for you to meet some people."
"oh okay." i said putting on my seatbelt.
"Starting route to Hydrangea Manor." the gps said. i raised my eyebrows at the mention of a manor.
"this is out of elm?"
"it's in Frisco." sakari said. i raised my eyebrows again. sakari stared driving and i just stared out the window. i didn't want to say anything else, i already felt out of place. i enjoyed the scenery as she drove to the location. soon we arrived at a gate with the words Hydrangea Manor on it. Sakari flashed a smile at me and typed a code on the pin pad. we entered and drove down a long winding road. sakari parked and looked at me.

"are you ready?" she asked. i nodded and took off my seatbelt, reaching for my camera bag. "leave the bag caelan."
"but-"
"leave it! you're a guest not a photographer."
"but i am a photographer, its literally my job."
"not tonight."
"whatever fine." i said placing the bag back down. we walked to the door together, attitude ever so present on my face. a tall white woman opened the door.
"welcome!! sakari, so good to see you... and guest." she said in strong french accent. i made up my face... what the fuck kind of shit is this?
"hey colette, this is Caelan."
"nice to meet you." i said. colette nodded.

i cleared my throat and followed in after sakari. i felt extremely out of place already. colette's manor was beautiful. modern and classic at the same time.
"we're about to start dinner so please, take a seat." colette said. i sat down next to sakari being sure not to touch anything. there was variety of people at the table. colette stood at the head of the table and gently rapped a fork on a wine glass.
"thank you all so much for coming! I am delighted to be back in..." colette trailed off and shot me a look. "well most of your company." she finished with a laugh. "please enjoy the food, the wine, and the great conversation. thank you!" everyone smiled and toasted. i just sat there feeling like shit.

"where is the bathroom?" i quietly asked sakari.
"i'll take you." she said getting up. i trailed behind her until she stopped at a door. as i was about to enter sakari grabbed my arm.
"what's wrong?"
"your friends are.. disrespectful."
"colette? she's always been like that, i'm not saying it's okay but ive just learned to deal with her."
"okay well i haven't."
"prove that you belong here."
"why do i have to prove myself to her? i don't know her and honestly i don't know why im here."
"you're here because i know you belong here. i know you're extremely talented and professional."

"whatever." i said going into the bathroom. i locked the door behind me. i took some deep breaths to try and calm myself down. I hated this Colette woman and deep down inside. I was frustrated with sakari for bringing me here knowing how Colette was. I took some deep breaths before returning to the table where the conversation came to a halt. One of the guests cleared their throat before speaking
"so how do you know sakari?" he asked.
"she was a guest at an event I worked at" i replied. i was getting annoyed again.
"you worked there? Were you hosting it?"
"no I was a part of the photography staff, it was the Hickory art collection."

"oh that's a good opportunity for a beginner... I'm sure you're proud of yourself." he said with a slight chuckle.
"actually cae-" sakari started, but i quickly cut her off.
"i'm not a beginner I've been doing this since I was 15. I take random jobs in between my clients just to get some extra money and exposure. Hence how I met sakari, im actually her full time photographer. I'm not sure what the strange animosity is for between this entire group, but you are all adults and chances are I'm younger than all of you. so for me to be sitting at this table clearly means that I am somebody." i stated. i was tired and fed up. sakari had a smile on her face as if she was proud.

"my apologies for assuming. you're right, for you to be at this table means that you are a professional. once again I'm sorry." the man said. the energy shifted towards colette. she simply sipped her wine quietly. coward, i thought to myself. for the rest of the dinner i didn't speak. i sat quietly counting various items on my plate. i felt my watch buzz.

sakari: are you ready to go?
caelan: been.

"well," sakari said slapping her thighs, "it was great seeing you all again. i appreciate the invite, see yall next month."
"yes, peut-être." colette said with a laugh. i was tired of this laughing ass bitch. i left some of my business cards on the table as i walked out behind sakari. i sat in the passenger seat and took a deep breath.
"im sorry." sakari said. it seemed genuine. i shrugged and fake yawned.
"i'm tired, can you bring me home now?" i asked.
"yea... no problem." the ride home was quiet, r&b played in the background and that was all. sakari arrived at my apartment and parked. "so... my full time photographer huh?" she asked with a huge smile.

"yea whatever." i said rolling my eyes. "i'll see you soon, thanks for the ride." i said. sakari reached for a hug and i quickly dapped her up instead. "we're not doing that."
"my bad." she said with a slight chuckle. "see you later cae."
"it's caelan."
"i know your name."
"then don't shorten it, bye." i said closing her door. i walked into my apartment, locking the door behind me. what a fucking night.

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