Alastor, The Loud Caretaker

Orientation Day

Lynn Jr was returning back home from training in the park, but as she sensed the smell of freshly baked cookies, she rushed into the Loud House.

"DO I SMELL COOKIES?!" She said, excited.

"Yeah, but don't waste your time," said Lola nonchalantly, while resting on the couch. "They're "not for family"."

LJ followed the scent of cookies to the kitchen, where she found Lincoln and Clyde making them.

"OI, STINKIN'! She shouted, "THINK FAST!" She threw a basketball at the two kids. While they dodged it, the athlete snatched a cookie and ate it.

"LYNN!" said Lincoln, visibly annoyed.

"No, it's okay." said Clyde, "I needed someone to taste-test. Are they soggy?"

"Nah, they're pretty crunchy," said Lynn Jr. "What are they for, by the way?"

"Clyde and I are gonna have the middle school orientation tomorrow!"

LJ spat the cookies. "You guys are going to my school tomorrow?!"

"Yeah! An eighth-grade student is gonna take us around and show us the school, we wanna make a good impression!" said Clyde.

"So, we'll be prepared!" Lincoln showed a business card to his sister, reading "Clincoln McCloud - BFFs!"

"...Cookies and business cards? That's your plan?" Lynn Jr. asked. "Look, this stuff may fly in elementary, but middle school is different. It's like a jungle." She explained, "If you go there looking weak, you could be eaten alive.

"E-Eaten alive?!" Lincoln and Clyde said in unison, panicking.

"Don't worry, I've got a plan!" LJ took her phone and called her school's principal. "Yo, Principal Ramirez? Lynn Loud. Listen, who can I talk to about becoming an orientation buddy?"

So, the orientation day arrived. Lincoln and Clyde arrived at their future school.

"Wow...It's huge!" said Lincoln.

"Yeah! Luckily we brought these maps!" Clyde pulled out his map from his backpack.

"Hoooooooooooold on!" Lynn interjected. "Better if you ditch the maps! Never let you be seen as a noob!"

"But we are noobs!" Clyde complained.

"When some upperclassman realises that, you'll be a prime target for pranks!" said Lynn, "Like the poor kid who asked directions from an eighth grader on his first day. He got sent on a wild goose chase down in the tunnels under the school and didn't make it out until the whole day was over."

The two kids gasped in horror, they wrote down on their notepads this first "rule".

They arrived at their classroom.

"Okay, homeroom." said Lynn, "There are no assigned seats, so it's time for rule N. 2: Don't get stuck with a crummy desk." She turned to two students who already sat down. "MOVE OUT!" The two moved away.

Clyde walked to a desk, but another girl arrived at the same time. Like a gentleman, he quickly backed down.

Lynn facepalmed and went to the girl. "Back off, pigtail! My buddy saw it first!" She growled, causing the other student to go away.

"Huh...Isn't that a little too aggressive?" Clyde asked nervously.

"Not if you don't wanna end like the kid that got the worst desk," said Lynn.

Lincoln and Clyde gasped in horror.

"This one kid thought she had the perfect desk but ended up getting stuck in it so tight, they had to call the school cook."