Ashes of Thornwood

Chapter 11

The winter chill had seeped into every corner of Thornewood, making the days blend into one another in a seemingly endless cycle of gray skies and cold winds. The war continued to rage on, casting its long shadow over our lives, and each day brought new worries, new anxieties that weighed heavily on my mind. Yet, amidst all the uncertainty and fear, a subtle change in me had become impossible to ignore—a nagging feeling, one that had been growing stronger with each passing day.

It started subtly—slight dizziness, waves of nausea in the mornings, a strange sensitivity to certain smells. I had brushed it off as nothing more than the stress of managing the estate and the constant tension of the war. But as the days turned into weeks and the symptoms persisted, a growing suspicion took root in my mind.

Could I be pregnant?

The thought was both thrilling and terrifying. Sebastian and I had talked about starting a family, about the possibility of having children one day, but with the war still tearing the country apart, it had always felt like a distant dream, something to think about in a future that seemed uncertain at best. And yet, here I was, feeling the first inklings of what could only be described as hope, mingled with a fear that I couldn't quite shake.

I hadn't said anything to Sebastian yet. He had enough on his mind as it was, with the war and the constant demands of managing the plantation. I didn't want to burden him with my concerns until I was sure. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I needed to know, that I couldn't keep this to myself any longer.

It was early February when I finally decided to confide in someone, and there was only one person I trusted enough to share my suspicions with—Sarah.

That morning, after finishing my usual rounds on the plantation, I found Sarah in the kitchen, busy with her daily tasks. The warmth from the stove filled the room, a welcome contrast to the cold outside, and the comforting aroma of baking bread hung in the air. She looked up as I entered, her face brightening with a warm smile.

"Miss Evie," she greeted me, wiping her hands on her apron. "You're up early today."

I returned her smile, though it was tinged with nervousness. "Sarah, can we talk for a moment? In private?"

Her brow furrowed slightly at my tone, but she nodded, setting aside her work. "Of course, ma'am. Let's step into the pantry. We won't be disturbed there."

Once inside the small, dimly lit pantry, I closed the door behind us, my heart pounding in my chest. Sarah watched me with concern, her hands clasped in front of her, waiting patiently for me to speak.

"Sarah," I began, my voice barely above a whisper, "I think... I think I might be pregnant."

Her eyes widened in surprise, and she reached out to take my hands in hers. "Oh, Miss Evie, that's... well, that's wonderful news! But you don't seem too sure. Have you had any signs?"

I nodded, feeling the words spill out of me in a rush. "I've been feeling strange for weeks now—nauseous, dizzy, tired all the time. But I don't know for sure. I've never... I mean, I've never been pregnant before, so I don't know what to expect."

Sarah's expression softened, and she gave my hands a reassuring squeeze. "It sounds like you might be, ma'am. But we should find out for certain. Have you noticed anything else? Any changes?"

I hesitated, trying to recall every little detail. "My cycles have been irregular lately, and I... I've been more emotional than usual. But I don't know if that's just the stress of everything or... or something more."

She nodded thoughtfully, her gaze steady and calm. "Well, there's a way to be sure. I can help you, but it might take some time. We'll need to keep this quiet, though. We don't want to alarm anyone until we know for sure."