Ashes of Thornwood

Chapter 18

The grand dining room of Thornewood was steeped in an oppressive quiet, broken only by the occasional clink of silverware or the crackle of the fire. The grand feast laid before us went largely untouched, the sumptuous dishes now nothing more than a hollow display. Sebastian sat at the head of the table, his presence commanding yet distant, his plate as untouched as the night seemed endless.

Lottie, seated beside me, seemed determined to lighten the mood, her usual playful spirit undeterred by the tension in the room. She reached for a slice of bread, her smile bright but tinged with concern as she glanced at Sebastian. "It's good to see you, Sebastian," she said, her voice light but carrying an undercurrent of worry.

Sebastian offered a small, tight-lipped smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Good to be home," he replied, though the words felt heavy, almost hollow.

Mr. Crowley, seated across from us, leaned back in his chair, his fork paused in mid-air as he regarded Sebastian with a curious, almost predatory look. "The war changes a man," he mused, his tone as sharp as the knife in his hand. "Men come back... different, don't they?"

Sebastian's grip tightened around his wine glass, his jaw clenching slightly. "It does," he said simply, his voice low and controlled.

Lottie, sensing the rising tension, spoke quickly, trying to steer the conversation to safer ground. "Sebastian, tell us about the towns you passed through. Did you see anything beautiful? Any places that gave you hope?"

Sebastian's expression softened slightly, his gaze distant. "There were moments of beauty," he said quietly, "but they were fleeting. The war... it takes everything from you."

The conversation faltered, the silence returning with a vengeance. The only sounds were the occasional clink of silverware and the crackling of the fire. Lottie reached for another slice of bread, her hands trembling slightly as she spread butter on it. "I'm just glad you're home, Sebastian. We've all missed you so much."

Sebastian's gaze softened as he looked at her, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I've missed you too, Lottie. It's good to be home."

But despite the warmth in his words, there was still a distance in his eyes, a darkness that hadn't been there before. He hadn't touched his meal, and I was the only one who noticed. The food, so lovingly prepared, remained untouched on his plate. It was as if the very act of eating was now foreign to him, something he no longer needed or wanted.

After dinner, I found myself craving Sebastian's touch but also dreading it. I longed for the closeness we once shared, but I was afraid of what I might find when we were alone. Would he still be the man I loved, or had the war changed him beyond recognition? The need for him was still there, but it was laced with a fear that I couldn't shake.

As we made our way to our bedroom, I felt his hand on the small of my back, guiding me gently, and for a moment, I let myself believe that everything could go back to the way it was. But when I looked up at him, his eyes were cold, his expression distant, and I knew that the man I had married was gone, replaced by someone else—someone who was still trying to love me but who had been broken by the world.

And yet, despite everything, I couldn't stop loving him. Even now, I wanted to be close to him, to feel his arms around me, to pretend, if only for a little while, that we were still the same couple who had once laughed and loved without a care in the world.

"Sebastian," I said, my voice trembling slightly. "Come to bed with me."

He turned to face me, his eyes dark and unreadable in the dim light of the room. There was a moment of hesitation, a fleeting look of uncertainty that passed across his face before he nodded. Without a word, he followed me into our bedroom, the soft glow of candlelight casting shadows on the walls. The room was warm, a small refuge from the coldness that had settled over our lives since his return.