Ray of hope || by Elin Moon

Chapter 10: Senseless threat

It's oddly cold inside the Fortress, way colder than it is outside. I've never liked the cold, but I don't mention it. Everyone already thinks I'm too young to be here; I don't need to make them think I'm too weak as well. The way they all looked and spoke of me is irritating, but I once again don't say anything. They wouldn't listen. Besides, somewhere in the back of my mind, I fear that they're right; I'm weak and defenceless; if something were to attack me, I wouldn't be able to fight it off alone. I have no weapon other than a knife I was given as a precaution, and I don't know how useful a small knife would be against one of those giant monsters. The thought of my vulnerability terrifies me. 

The team splits up to cover more of the place quicker. Thankfully, there seems to be no infected around anymore, as Richard had been concerned that the infected that had attacked his team previously would still be around. Despite the seeming lack of presence of moving beings, Richard advises everyone to stay on guard and to always be ready for a possible attack. For that entire reason, I stick to Richard for the most part, petrified at the possibility that one of those monsters could jump out at any moment. For the most part, Richard leaves me to my devices, instead engaging in conversation with the Lieutenant, that Des guy. On the topic, the Lieutenant won't stop looking at me, and I don't understand the look he's giving me. Is it a worry for me? Perhaps concern or irritation? Not a single twitch of his face gives him away, his expression remains seemingly blank as he stares at me. It makes my fur stand up on edge, but I don't want to say anything; there's no reason to make it awkward. 

So far, it's rather quiet. There have been no signs of Dutch anywhere. Everything seems eerily undisturbed, despite the fact that Richard's team had been attacked here, and plenty of them had been killed in the ambush. There should be bodies, plenty of them, yet there's nothing. Only some blood splatters here and there hinting at a past tragedy. Richard's constant expressed concern about the emptiness of the Fortress leaves nausea in my stomach. If I wasn't regretting my desire to go on this mission before, I certainly do now. This all seems to be much worse than I thought it would be, and I desperately wish to hide under my blanket at home until the threat of danger goes away. I'm not sure what I mean when I say home: can I even still call the Mainlands my home? I'd rather not think on that any further.  

Suddenly, someone comes running up to Richard holding something in their arms. Their face is covered by a mask so I can't make out what they're feeling, but by the sound of their hyperventilating as they rush to the Captain, it must be serious.  

"What have you found, Private?" Richard asks as the soldier catches their breath. The green furred tubby soldier hands over a familiar helmet, cracked up and caked in dirt and blood. As I stated before, it was a familiar helmet, even if I've only seen it once. After all, I've only seen one person wear it; it's Dutch's helmet. Richard must realise this too, with the way his mouth falls slightly agape, picking up the helmet as if it was a fragile being. 

Richard continues to talk to the soldier that found the helmet, worry and a hint of fear glowing in his eyes. I couldn't say what was spoken, I started to zone out the more I focused on the blood, and there was something churning in my stomach. I try to look away, but the blood floods my vision in red, enveloping my yellow fur in its intoxicating colour in a sickly familiar pattern. I can feel it, thick and sticky on my hands, yet I can't wipe it away. The air is filled with a metallic smell that makes me want to vomit up my breakfast while simultaneously sawing off my own nose so I may never catch a whiff of this horrific smell again. So lost I am inside my twisting body, I almost don't feel when a hand touches my shoulder. I turn to meet face to face with Lieutenant Des, his brows furrowed as he looks me up and down with his gaze.  

"Are you alright?" he asks.  

"Yes, I'm fine." I answer, ignoring how shaky my words are. My feet feel wobbly underneath me, the world around me swimming in shades of red. I fear I might collapse, but the Lieutenant holds me up with his hand on my shoulder.