But First, Coffee « irwin »

three

It's the smell of bacon and eggs that wakes me up, really, and my eyes drearily open as I shift my position on the... Floor?

I sit up, confused, discovering that I've passed out onto the white carpet, headphones entangled around my body as my phone blasts Twenty One Pilots through my ears. I suspect I passed out after a caffeine rush, which you should know is surprisingly common for me.

My hands fly up to pull out each ear piece carefully, and I'm greeted by the sound of Sawyer demanding more bacon, also the sound of Alice telling him to pull his head out of his ass and "learn how to say the goddamn word please".

I roll my eyes as I untangle the cords around my body, unplugging my phone and clutching it in my hand and clambering up from the floor. I feel slightly dizzy just for a moment, but the sensation quickly fades away after about three seconds.

Breakfast time.

But before that, I take a moment to stretch, letting out a yawn and blinking quickly. Wait, the world's blurry. Where are my glasses?

Spinning around, I squint around the room, looking for the outline of my glasses against the floor, or perhaps my sheets.

Nothing. Damn it.

"Alice!" I shout at the top of my lungs. "I can't find my glasses again!"

In at least four seconds ( a new record, I may add ), she bursts into my room, holding a spatula, her hair frizzy and the faint color of egg yolk at the corner of her mouth. "Wren you dumbass," she says annoyed. "Your glasses are on your head, Jesus Christ."

"Jesus Christ wouldn't be too happy with that tone you're using," I reply, taking my glasses off my head. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you'll be landed a spot in hell if you don't change your attitude, Alice."

"Ah, shove it up your ass," she says, turning around and storming back to the kitchen.

Sighing, I put my glasses on, trudging after her taller figure, ignoring a half naked Jasper emerging from her bedroom. "Well hello Wren the Wreck."

"Why hello Jasper the Jackass. What are you having for breakfast? My sister's eggs?"

He laughs, throwing an arm around my shoulder, which I shove off. "Of course. Her sunnyside up is probably the best thing since sliced bread."

"I wasn't talking about chicken eggs."

It took him a moment to understand what I meant, but as soon as he figured out, he smacked the back of my head, gently of course. "And you say I'm the disgusting pig."

"Mostly because you look like one, but I suppose you have the personality of one too," I retort with ease, moving more quickly once the kitchen table comes into view. "But speaking of pigs, Alice can I have some bacon?"

"Take some of Sawyer's," she says as she cracks open another egg onto the frying pan, the sizzling loudly filling the air.

Sawyer heard this of course, and he narrowed his eyes at me as he protectively covered his plate. "Nuh uh, you get your own bacon."

"Sawyer, if you don't give me some of your bacon, I'm ripping off your balls and using them to play beer pong," I hiss, a glare being thrown his way.

His face turns somewhat pale, but he still goes ahead and says, "That's disgusting Wren."

"Well so is your sex life, but I never said anything."

"Fuck you," he replies before shoving another forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth, still refusing to look away from me. "That's right, watch as I eat this delicious breakfast that our wonderful big sister Alice made for us."

"Aw shut it you suck up, I know you just want more food," Alice responded from the stove, concentrated on the bacon. "You guys are lucky we're related."

"Lucky? More like cursed," says my brother, which of course leads to an eggshell being thrown at his head.

Smiling as I watch him frowning in Alice's direction, I prop my chin in my hand. Our family's a little crazy, but it's alright, I guess.