𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝟏𝟖 +

𝐒 𝐄 𝐕 𝐄 𝐍

Eden

The train ride to my mom's place felt longer than usual, and not just because of the usual delays. My thoughts were spinning, unable to focus on any one thing for too long. I tried to keep myself distracted, looking out the window at the blur of city life and then the quieter suburbs, but it was impossible to escape the gnawing worry in my chest.

My mom had been battling cancer for as long as I could remember. It wasn't the first time it had reared its ugly head, but this time... this time felt different. Worse. The treatments weren't working like they had before, and the prognosis was grim. I had thought, hoped, that we were in the clear after the last round of chemo, but the cancer had come back with a vengeance, and it was taking everything from her.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill. I didn't want to cry, not now, not on the train surrounded by strangers. But the thought of what I was about to face when I got to her house was almost too much to bear.

When I finally reached my stop, I got off the train and began the short walk to her house. It was a modest place, the same one I grew up in. My mom had lived there alone since my dad passed away a few years ago. The garden she used to tend with such care was overgrown now, the once vibrant flowers replaced by weeds. It hurt to see how much things had changed, how much had been lost.

I took a deep breath before opening the gate and walking up the path to the front door. I could hear the faint hum of the television inside as I knocked softly, not wanting to startle her. After a moment, the door creaked open, and there she was—my mom, standing in the doorway, a small, tired smile on her face.

"Eden, sweetheart," she said, her voice weak but warm as she reached out to hug me.

"Hi, Mom," I replied, hugging her back as gently as I could. She felt so fragile in my arms, her once strong and vibrant body now thin and frail. It broke my heart all over again.

"Come in, come in," she said, leading me inside. "You didn't have to come all this way just to check on me, you know."

"Of course I did," I said, following her into the living room. "I wanted to see you."

She sat down on the couch with a sigh, and I took a seat beside her. The house felt colder than I remembered, the warmth of my childhood memories replaced by a chill that seemed to seep into everything. I couldn't help but notice how pale she looked, her skin almost translucent, and how much weight she had lost. The sight of her like this made my chest tighten with a mix of fear and helplessness.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

She gave me a small smile, the kind that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm managing. It's... it's hard, but I'm managing."

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. I didn't know what else to say, didn't know how to make things better. I hated this—hated feeling so powerless, so useless.

"I wish there was something more I could do," I said softly, my voice breaking just a little.

"Oh, honey," she said, reaching over to take my hand in hers. "You being here is more than enough. You've always been enough."

Her words were meant to comfort me, but they only made the ache in my heart worse. I didn't feel like I was enough—not when she was suffering like this and there was nothing I could do to fix it.

We sat in silence for a while, the only sound the faint ticking of the clock on the wall. I could feel her eyes on me, could feel the weight of everything left unsaid between us. There was so much I wanted to tell her, so much I wanted to ask, but I didn't know where to start.

Finally, she broke the silence. "How's the new job?"

I smiled, glad for the change of subject. "It's... it's amazing, Mom. It's everything I've ever wanted. I'm working for DuBois Fashion Design—can you believe it?"

Her eyes lit up with a spark of pride. "Oh, Eden, that's wonderful. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom," I said, squeezing her hand. "I'm really excited about it. And the best part is... the salary is pretty great, too. I was thinking... with this new job, maybe I can help out more. Maybe I can cover some of the costs for your treatment."

Her smile faltered for a moment, and I saw the hesitation in her eyes. "Sweetheart, you don't need to worry about that. I don't want you to feel like you have to take on that burden."

"It's not a burden," I insisted, my voice firm. "I want to help, Mom. I want to do whatever I can to make sure you get the best care possible."

She looked at me for a long moment, her eyes filled with so much love and sadness that it made my heart ache. Finally, she nodded, her grip on my hand tightening just a little. "Alright, Eden. If it makes you feel better, then we'll talk about it. But promise me you won't overextend yourself. You've worked so hard to get where you are, and I don't want you to lose that."

"I promise," I said, even though I knew I would do whatever it took to help her. "We'll figure it out together, okay?"

She nodded, and I could see the relief in her eyes. It wasn't much, but it was something. And in that moment, it felt like enough.

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking about my new job, reminiscing about old times, and just enjoying each other's company. For a little while, it almost felt like things were normal again, like the weight of the world wasn't pressing down on us.

But as the sun began to set and it was time for me to leave, the reality of our situation came crashing back. I hugged her tightly, trying to hold on to the moment for as long as I could.

"I'll come back soon," I promised, my voice thick with emotion.

"I know you will," she said, her smile sad but full of love. "And I'll be here, waiting for you."

As I walked away from her house, my heart heavy with the weight of everything we were facing, I couldn't help but feel a renewed sense of determination. This job wasn't just a dream come true for me—it was a lifeline for my mom. And I was going to do everything in my power to make sure she got the help she needed.

But even as I made that promise to myself, I couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness that lingered in the back of my mind. Because no matter how much I wanted to believe that I could make things better, there was a part of me that knew that some things were beyond my control.

And that was the hardest thing of all.

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~ R