𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝟏𝟖 +

𝐅 𝐈 𝐅 𝐓 𝐘 - 𝐅 𝐈 𝐕 𝐄

Eden

Back from our trip to Hawaii, the familiar warmth of our penthouse should have felt like a comfort. But all I could think about as I unpacked my suitcases was the gnawing pain that wouldn't go away. I had pushed it aside as much as I could during our vacation, trying to enjoy the moments with Lenore, trying to act like everything was fine. But I couldn't ignore it anymore. The pain was getting worse, and there was a heavy dread in the pit of my stomach that made it hard to breathe.

I was half-heartedly folding clothes when Lenore came into the bedroom. Her presence was always a balm to my anxiety, but this time, I felt too weighed down by everything to even look up. The rustling of her movements was soft, like she was trying not to startle me, and when she spoke, her voice was gentle, laced with concern.

"I made an appointment for you at the doctor," she said softly, walking over to where I stood by the suitcase.

I paused, setting down the shirt I was folding, and looked up at her. For a moment, I felt overwhelmed by the wave of gratitude that washed over me. Lenore was always so steady, so dependable, even when I was falling apart.

"Thank you," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper. I was trying to keep it together, to not let her see how afraid I really was.

Before I could say anything else, Lenore came up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. The warmth of her embrace made the tightness in my chest ease, just a little. I leaned back into her, letting my body relax against hers. For a few moments, we stood there in silence, the world outside forgotten. Just the two of us, wrapped in the quiet comfort of being close.

Lenore rested her chin on my shoulder, her breath warm against my skin as she whispered, "I love you, Eden. No matter what we find out. I'll always love you."

Her words, simple as they were, broke something in me. The dam I had been holding back for so long cracked, and before I could stop it, tears welled up in my eyes. I squeezed them shut, trying to keep them at bay, but it was no use. The exhaustion of everything, Hawaii, the pain, the fear, came crashing down on me all at once.

"I'm so tired," I whispered, my voice cracking as the tears spilled over. I didn't mean just physically, though I was tired in every way. I was tired of pretending I was okay, tired of trying to be strong, tired of this looming fear that something was seriously wrong with me.

Lenore's hold on me tightened as I finally broke down, the sobs shaking my body as I cried into her shoulder. I hadn't wanted to fall apart like this, but I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally. I was terrified of what the doctors might say, terrified of what could be happening inside my body.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Lenore whispered, her voice soft and soothing as she rubbed slow, comforting circles on my back. "It's okay to be scared. It's okay to feel like this."

I nodded, even though I felt anything but okay. I buried my face in her shoulder, letting the fabric of her shirt soak up my tears. She didn't pull away, didn't try to shush me or tell me to stop crying. She just held me, anchored me, as I let the weight of my fears come pouring out.

"I'm scared," I admitted, the words spilling out between shaky breaths. "I don't know what's wrong with me, and I'm scared, Lenore."

"I know," she murmured, her voice steady as ever. "But you're not alone, Eden. You'll never be alone in this. Whatever it is, we'll face it together, okay?"

I nodded again, even though I wasn't sure how I was supposed to face any of this. My body felt like it was betraying me, and the thought of going to the doctor, of hearing what they had to say, filled me with a kind of dread I couldn't explain. But Lenore... Lenore was here, and she loved me, and somehow, that made everything just a little less terrifying.

After a few minutes, my sobs quieted, though the tears still slipped down my cheeks in slow, silent streams. I felt drained, completely spent, but Lenore didn't let go. She held me close, resting her cheek against the top of my head, her arms firm and strong around me.

"You're stronger than you think," she whispered after a while, her voice so gentle it almost broke me all over again. "I know you're scared, but you're stronger than this, Eden. And I'll be with you every step of the way."

I didn't feel strong. In fact, I felt like I was barely holding on by a thread. But hearing her say it... maybe some part of me believed it, too. Maybe I could get through this, whatever "this" was, because Lenore was here, and because she wasn't going to let me go through it alone.

"Thank you," I whispered, my voice hoarse from crying. "For always being here. For loving me."

She pressed a kiss to my temple, her lips lingering there as if she could somehow kiss away the fear, the pain. "I'll always be here," she said softly. "Always."

I don't know how long we stood there like that, wrapped up in each other in the quiet of our bedroom. But for the first time in days, the pain in my abdomen didn't feel so unbearable. It was still there, a constant reminder that something wasn't right, but it wasn't as terrifying when I knew I had Lenore by my side.

Eventually, she loosened her grip just enough to turn me around to face her. Her hands came up to cradle my face, her thumbs gently wiping away the remnants of my tears. "You don't have to go through this alone," she reminded me, her blue eyes filled with so much love it made my chest ache.

"I know," I whispered, leaning into her touch.

She smiled, a soft, sad smile, before leaning down to press a kiss to my lips. It was gentle, tender, the kind of kiss that spoke of promises made and kept. When she pulled back, she rested her forehead against mine, and for a moment, everything felt... manageable.

We stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in the quiet, comforting presence of each other. Eventually, I knew we would have to face whatever was coming, doctor's appointments, tests, answers I wasn't sure I was ready for. But for now, in this moment, I let myself find comfort in Lenore's arms, knowing that no matter what happened, she would be there, right beside me.

And somehow, that made all the difference.

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~ R