"Fuck!" F/N yelled, chucking his bloodied knife against the brick wall. It bounced off with a sharp ring and stuck into the floor, just as he kicked a chair across the room. The cadet paced the room, ignoring the two slumped corpses beside him. Killing never unnerved him before, never enraged him. Now shouldn't have been different. But, he wasn't on the street, and these weren't people that the military police had hits on. They were people he knew now, she was a person he graduated with. "And she had to go and give up like she did!? I should've just dragged her with me, kicking and screaming! Threw her atop the walls and to hell with it!"
He berated himself. Listening to the irrationality of his own words. It wasn't like him. "Stupid bitch would've just jumped. You did her a mercy, remember that..."
The knife was pried free from the wooden floorboard, before being wiped down and sheathed with shaky hands—hands he couldn't stop from shaking, no matter what he told himself. All he pictured was her closed eyes, waiting. Were people really this weak? This prone to breaking?
The room was suddenly too small, and the air too stale. He walked outside, fingering the trigger slightly, only for no response to come from his gear. He tried again, then clenched his fists. He trudged back inside the house, tediously stripping Franz's dead corpse of his ODM gear. Though it pained him, he told himself that no matter what he thought, he had a job to do. No more time could be wasted here in turmoil, or anger. Other soldiers, and citizens relied on him.
However, when he knocked on the gas canisters within his new gear, they were almost empty. Hanna's too. So he meticulously transferred all the gas from each canister into his own. Even then he would still be running on fumes, and taking out any more titans like this would be a challenge.
Ascending the nearest belltower, he saw a party of around five or six, closing in on him. It was a good distance away, but titans could close it effortlessly. He'd need a spot to fall back to, to find some comrades.
Then his eyes spotted a congregation of brown uniforms settled on a patch of roofs to his west. There was around a hundred, all stagnant. What are they doing? He asked himself, as the evacuation bell rang in the distance. Oh how sweet that sound was, even more than honey. The citizens had finally evacuated and he could pull out of Trost. A relief washed over F/N that relaxed him. There was no longer any need to fight the titans, all he had to do was escape. But, that alone was a challenge in and of itself. With his low gas supply scaling the walls would be impossible.
The cadet ran across the rooftops towards his fellow cadets, to hopefully regroup and figure out a plan of attack. They must've been out of gas too. His boots pounded on the roof tiles, and his arms pumped by his sides, all effortlessly. He suddenly thanked Sadies for having him run laps all these years.
Above was a weeping grey sky, that drizzled the days agonies over them. Perhaps if there was some god, he was mourning the death of them all. Probably not. It soaked through the running cadet's hair, and rinsed clean the patchy blood from his hands. With it came a breeze, that cooled F/N's built up mental exhaustion. That, came with several deaths, and near death experiences.
Reaching the group he staggered to a stop, scouring the crowd. His hopes vanished instantly upon seeing their faces. Each could've been writing their own epitaph right now, with wimpy spines and tear stained faces. The whole lot reignited that anger he'd resigned himself to sealing away. Is this what he had fought for!? For these, cowards!? Did they all shiver at the mere sight of a titan, retreating further while he fought!? Or did they fight, and watch their braver friends die first!?
A sudden force struck from behind him. "F/N!" Sasha gasped, wrapping her arms around him. F/N's face melted before her, and he fought against her grip to turn around and hug her back.
"Hey, Sasha." His eyes softened as he looked down at the brown haired girl, who was staring up at him already. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I think so. I'm alive at least. But I thought you were dead out there, glad to see you're still here." She smiled, ever warm.
He chuckled. "Yeah, I thought I did too, every now and again. Are the others still, alive?"
"Yes." She nodded, then hesitantly asked. "How about you, are you alone?"
His lips became thin slits. "I am."
"Sorry..."
"Don't be." He shook his head, and separated himself from her. "I think I've already got the gist of what's happening here. We need to form a plan, and get to HQ. We'll get gas, and get the hell out of here."
Sasha grimaced and shuffled her feet. "I've tried to rally them, Connie too. But Jean and the others have all given up."
F/N furrowed his brow. "Eren as well?"
"He, didn't make it." She replied.
F/N's eyes widened, then narrowed. "I see. If he was here, he could've gotten these idiots off their feet... I'll go talk to Jean."
He grabbed Sasha's hand tightly and pulled her along with them. Maybe, just maybe, if he could convince Jean to help, then he could rally some of these people to do something worth a damn. F/N hopped the roofs towards the lifeless cadet, laying in his own pool of worries. Standing over him, Jean noticed and scoffed.
"What do you want, F/N? Gonna try to convince me we can do something? Like Connie? Well forget it, I'm not hearing you out. This whole thing is hopeless, might as well sit here and drown away, no point fighting." He racked his head in his hands.
F/N sighed, then leaned down and hoisted Jean up by the collar, before throttling him with a punch to the chin. The cadet collided on the shillings with a crash, unable to brace his fall. Above him his attacker blew on and shook his hand.
"The hell is your problem man!?" Jean yelled, stumbling to his feet.
"Hm? What? Can't take a hit Jean? Back where I'm from it's how most people settled their differences. Come on, lets settle em. I want to storm that HQ, and you want sit here like a bitch. Let's fight for it." He shoved the cadet back onto the roof. "Come on Jean! If you're going to let the titans kill you, what's a little punch or shove?!?"
Jean grit his teeth, and stood his ground. "I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but go take your shitty anger out on someone else! We all watched our friends die too, you're not special! We all suffered the same shit! Just, go away."
F/N shook his head. "See, that's what I don't get, Jean. You're just willing to give up like that." He snapped, and waved to the watching cadets. "Same for the rest of you! Have any of you fought for your lives before now!? Well, I have! And guess what! If you're gonna survive, you gotta fight for it! Who the hell cares if there're titans out there, and you might die! Cause if you sit here, you will die! These last twenty minutes of your life aren't gonna feel any better if you're gone!"
"So you know what, I'm gonna go out there, by myself if I have to, and I'm gonna try to survive in any way I can! I'll cleave every titan I come across to get there! And any of you sniveling brats can follow me, by all means! If you ever decide that your life is worth something." He grabbed his sheathed knife, and threw it at Jean, who fumbled to catch it. Then his startled eyes locked with F/N's. "Bring that to me when you get there Jean, it's an important gift. Maybe, that'll be a decent enough reason for you to get up, cause it'd be a shame if I was in the MPs by myself."
He walked past him, in the direction of the HQ. Why the hell do you have me doing your job, Eren? He internally groaned, before feeling a nudge beside him. It was Sasha.
"Are we really storming the HQ?" She asked, through the chorus of angry cadets behind them.
"We?" He snorted. "I am, you're just following me."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Stop trying to sound nonchalant, it doesn't fit you. Especially not after that whole speech thing. Didn't know you could say something even a little bit inspirational."
"I wouldn't call that inspirational. More derogatory than anything." He sighed, took a few steps back, and ran off the roof. With a squeeze of the trigger, he was off.
Behind him the rest of the cadets slowly began to follow.
YOU ARE READING
Cracked Glass | AOT x Male Reader
Fanfiction"You killed your own mother." Those words were engrained into his every action, every value, and every idea. In the year 845, The Fall of Shiganshina drastically changes the life for many within the walls. This however, had no impact on F/N. He, unl...
