No Strings Attached

Chapter Seventeen

Nate handed her a small tumbler of aged Malt Whiskey – she didn’t even savour the taste, she just swallowed the amber liquid – savouring the fiery sensation it evoked at the back of her throat.

“So ... this is what? Your London place?” she asked nervously, looking around at the barren, characterless space around her.

It was very modern, its urban location reflected in the interior; lots of stone colours and stainless steel, but nothing vibrant and alive within it. It was more or less empty space; echoing and oversized.

“Yeah,” he grated, falling into a charcoal grey sofa opposite her – to be fair, that did look kind of comfy – just a bit dull.

“You have a house in every county or something?”

“No,” he chuckled softly, rolling the liqueur around the bottom of the glass, “One here, one at home, and one in Manchester. I bought this place just after Tori told me you were staying down here for good – would have been about a year after you left maybe? Made me feel close to you.”

Well, what could you say to that?

Somehow, it seemed that Nate had been just as involved in her life after they’d split as he’d ever been – but just, vicariously, through Tori. He seemed to know everything about her now, even while she’d told him nothing.

She dropped onto the sofa next to him, and lay her head on his roped, muscular thighs covered with the rough denim. For a single moment, he looked startled at the action – his hands stilling in the air – before she met his gaze, and he stroked her face softly.

“Sometimes, I can’t get my head around it,” she murmured softly after a lengthy silence, “You’ve always been there ...”

“I can’t let you go, I never could – and I did try, at first – but sometimes I think even if you were on your knees begging me to set you free, I’d not be able to. You’re mine – just... on a basic, primitive kind of level, you belong to me. Something about you just turns me Neanderthal- you’re kind of lucky I don’t have a cave, I could never give that up, even if you decided you didn’t want me.”

Her fingers inched beneath the smooth cotton – her hands itching with the need to feel his skin against hers, and she felt the ridged muscles clench under her touch.

“I don’t deserve you, or that.”

“No, you deserve far, far better, but I’m not as much of an idiot as Jayden that I’ll keep reminding you of the fact like he does Tor. This is it, for both of us, I won’t let you find someone better, I won’t even let you think about it.”

In many ways, Nate had as many shadows as she did – as many dark and lonely corners. In that moment, she actually saw some of them. His eyes had been haunted since they’d turned back to hers over the lifeless body of the man who’d attacked her – his face pained, and nervous, as though he was anxiously waiting for a rejection from her.

“I didn’t ... I mean, you know that changes nothing, don’t you Nate? Even if that makes me a cruel, heartless bitch, I can’t ... shit, I don’t know. I can’t change how I see you ... I guess, is what I’m trying to say ...” She couldn’t find the words to explain how she felt, seeing the darkest parts of him – looking at the version of him that was so very different to the gentle, considerate, but completely overwhelming form of him that she’d always needed.