Torin and Summer

Chapter 21 (Summer): Spaghetti And Meatballs

Anna ~

I was wondering if you'd like to go ice skating with me this Saturday at eleven. After, if there's enough snow, do you want to build a snowman? 

If your mittens and scarf aren't enough to keep you warm, I'll be there to make sure you don't get frozen.

Yours,

Kristoff

I looked at the card I held in my hand and laughed at Torin's latest invitation. We hadn't had a fairy tale date in a month and a half, not since he'd taken me to the library at Carrington Castle; instead we'd gone out together a number of times. The places didn't matter, but the conversations did. Torin opened himself up, made his thoughts and feelings transparent to me. He talked freely about his therapy and his work, and I shared, too, all the hurts he'd inflicted and my fears and worries for our future.

Just as I'd told him on our Little Mermaid date, I needed the eighteen months we'd agreed on to give us another chance to be real and raw. And, after many of those talks, we were both raw because our talks were so deep and real. I had more of an understanding of what he'd been going through and all of the ways his PTSD had manifested itself, both large and small. I also gained a huge amount of respect for the way he was facing his disorder head on.

One night, I'd put my hand over his and told him he didn't need to keep apologizing.

"You've told me how sorry you are, Torin. Many times. And you've shown me, too. I think that's even more important."

Those giant shoulder lifted up and down. "It doesn't feel like enough."

"It is," I said simply.

We'd spent Thanksgiving together, which was another way to both test the waters and replace some bad memories. Torin had cooked the turkey and made the mashed potatoes, and I'd made three other sides and dessert. When we'd sat down to eat, Torin had taken my hand and looked me dead in the eye. 

"I've never been more grateful for something in my life as I am that you're sitting here with me. You have no idea, Sum."

I wanted to say something similar back to him, but my throat was suddenly not working with all of the emotion rushing up and causing a traffic jam of my words, so all I could do was squeeze his hand.

That day, since we'd spent the entire day together as opposed to a few hours here and there, gave me glimpses of the old Torin and allowed me to see ways that he'd grown and changed. I hoped he was noticing the same differences in me. We weren't the same people we had been, but it seemed that we were still as compatible as we'd been before those dark months.

We also spent Christmas together since Thanksgiving had been so successful. We'd decided not to cook but to snack all day, beginning to end, with a heavy emphasis on dessert. We laughed at our charcuterie board fail (neither one of us could do roses out of salami slices), but it felt good to make fun of our attempts.

It was a relaxing day, and we sat on his couch watching all of our favorite Christmas movies and gaining approximately twenty-five pounds from the junk food. Desserts didn't count since it was a holiday. But it was another all-day success.

"Reality and fantasy," Torin had said at the end of the night. "We have to concentrate on the reality of us, how we do on regular days and holidays, with some fairy tale mixed in."

So, now our ice skating date was coming up, the fairy tale he was mixing in, and I appreciated that these dates weren't anything over the top. Just extra sweet and thoughtful.

"You look beautiful, Summer," he said as he kissed my cheek, and I took in winter Torin in his jeans, heavy boots and woolen fisherman's sweater with the three leather buttons at the neck. He looked incredibly good and the light was back in his eyes, the one that had been so familiar to me. Torin had found the spark that had been missing for so long.