Because of yall.10

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"So we not gonna address the elephant in the room?" Messiah asked as we sat in his car in a empty parking lot.

"I don't know how to address it." I said shrugging.

"So how do u feel about being pregnant."

"I feel like you purposely trapped me." I chuckled.

"Be for real right now not only you being pregnant but everything ."he said with a straight face.

"I feel as though you only took your feelings into consideration about everything you always felt as if I wasn't appreciative of your change but you didn't take time to even hear me out how would u feel if it was just me bussin my ass and u in the house just chilling u would feel bad I want my own shit. Shit that I can say I did on my own."

"When we were apart I prospered in such a good way but now I have to take a big fall back and put my dreams on hold."

"You wanna know how I feel right now I feel like shit I can't even pick my son up from school I can't pick my son up and hug and give him kisses I can barely give my son a fuckin bath as of now. I feel like Im in a living hell. I have to have a brace on my body 24/7 while it's another fuckin baby growing in me I CANT CATCH A FUCKIN BREAK." I said as I cried my eyes out.

"That's why I'm here, I'm here to help you I been tryna make this shit work every since I lost you that first time. I understand where you're coming from but you have to let me help you what the fuck am I here for?"

"So what are we gonna do moving forward?" He asked.

"I'm willing to make it work one last time. I mean we have a whole family now I'm not about to throw 5 years away." I said as I seen a smile creep up on his face.

"And I will acknowledge your change and work on trusting you I'm not gonna sit here and act like your in the wrong for everything." I said shrugging.

"Okay, and I can sit here and say that I do genuinely apologize for purposely getting pregnant especially after our conversation and I do understand where you're coming from."

"Can I ask you one question tho and ima need you to be so honest with me messiah."

"Are you still out here in these streets." I asked as I looks at him waiting for him to lie to me.

His face then showed no emotion as I tried to read his face.

"I- n-"he took a deep sigh and rubbed his hands down his face.

"Yeah."he said sighing as I bit my lip from crying.

"But what you not understanding is I can't leave this shit alone I'm too deep in bro it's the only fuckin way I can get this fuckin money this rap shit cool but it's only bringing me in so much."he said trying to defend his actions.

"So u told me you would get out but you then proceeded to lie knowing you wouldn't."I said nodding my head slowly.

"I can't change u, you gotta want it for yourself, it's fuck me and my kids and when u have to leave me alone again for who knows how long for god forbid permanently you would want me to tell my son that everything is alright..."

"I understand. Just take me back to my moms I'm done talking." I mumbled.

"I love you Sah."he said as he pulled off.

"Yeah...I know."I said as a tear fell from my eye.

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