MAKING THE BED ★

39: A Good Person

AMANDA GUIDED her inside of the kitchen, pulling out a chair for her to sit on before sitting next to her. Isabella sobbed, her breath trembling with every short gasp for air. The woman kindly passed her a glass of water, lowering her gaze to Isabella's legs bouncing frantically under the table as the girl buried her face into her hands.

Amanda spoke softly, "Hey, I know that you've been dealing with a lot. I don't know if I'm in the position to say this, but you shouldn't be so hard on yourself for not winning captain. I know that karate is so important to you, but something you love shouldn't make you feel like this." Isabella wiped the tears from her cheeks, trying to catch her breath. Amanda continued, "Take a deep breath, okay? We can stay in here for as long as you need."

Amanda stood up, leaving Isabella at the table, as the woman grabbed a medical kit from one of her storage departments in the kitchen.

Isabella blinked tightly, shaking her head at the haunting memories. She had already tried box breathing, five senses, and taking deep breaths; nothing was helping her. Within the memories flashing through her mind, Isabella thought of Tory. Happy Tory. The Tory that met her in the school toilets, kissed her, tied her jacket around her hurt leg, helped her, and loved her. She just missed Tory; Isabella prayed that the girl didn't hate her.

A weight was lifted from her lungs, and Isabella caught her breath back. She closed her eyes again, reliving the memories before everything. The thought of Tory calmed her, bringing her back from her pit of despair.

Isabella wiped the tears that stained her face. She watched as Amanda gently wiped the blood from her knuckles; the woman said softly, "You could've really hurt yourself. You know that, right?"

Isabella's voice was dry and hoarse, "I-I know. I don't mean to."

"I know." Amanda said knowingly, causing Isabella to look at her in confusion. The woman added, "Did you know I got arrested?"

Isabella asked curiously, "Really?"

"Yeah, I was a little bit older than you." Amanda explained, as she cleaned the girl's hand, "I took a baseball bat to my maths tutor's car. With her in it."

Isabella asked curiously, "Why?"

"She was having an affair with my dad." Amanda replied, "My parents' marriage was falling apart, I thought the world was ending, and I blamed her for taking it all away from me. I was charged with misdemeanour reckless endangerment. I didn't even get to walk my graduation... then my parents divorced anyway."

"But, you're... like, rich now." Isabella stated in confusion.

Amanda smiled slightly, "I worked hard to put it all behind me." She paused, "I was young and upset. And I'm lucky I didn't let it ruin my life."

Amanda looked at Isabella, like she could see right through her. The girl lowered her eyes, avoiding eye contact before she cried again.

The woman frowned slightly, "This isn't about the Sekai Taikai, is it?" She paused, watching as Isabella sat in silence. Amanda took a breath, "I just wanna help you, Isabella. I want to help break the pattern."

"You can't help me." Isabella muttered, pulling her hand away and placing it in her lap. She paused, as tears swelled in her eyes again, "You don't know what I did."

Amanda didn't get angry, which was strange to Isabella because usually everybody got angry at this point of a conversation. The woman asked, "What's going on?"

"I couldn't save her." Isabella said, and suddenly she was sobbing again. Amanda leaned forward to hug the girl, as she cried into her chest; the woman stroked the girl's hair, trying to calm her down.

Amanda pulled out of the hug to look at the girl, holding Isabella's hands, "What happened? Save who?"

"Tory's mom." Isabella spluttered, "W-We were at her, uh, at her... I didn't even know at first. I didn't—"

"Whoa, hey." Amanda comforted, "Take a breath. It's okay. I'm listening."

Isabella paused, "I, uh, I was at Tory's house for dinner. I don't know how..." She tried not to cry, taking another breath as her jaw trembled, "Tory's mom was on the floor and... she wasn't breathing. I, uh... had to give her CPR but it didn't work and now she's dead and Tory probably hates me and I don't know what to do and I feel like, if I tried harder, then maybe I could've saved her."

Amanda hugged her again, "Hey, sh sh sh, don't say that." She pulled out of the hug, looking at Isabella in the eye; Amanda had watery eyes now too. The woman added, "What happened is not your fault. Okay? You do not say that to yourself. You don't ever even think that. Tory doesn't hate you, I promise." She paused, "Is this why Tory isn't here today?"

"Yeah," Isabella wiped the tears from her face, catching her breath, "I told her I wouldn't tell anyone. But-But, I couldn't keep it to myself because..." She gasped for air again, her breath trembling.

Amanda sighed, and Isabella could see that she was concerned for Tory now too. The woman passed her the glass of water, "Take a breath... there we go. Do you think Tory's at her house, or—"

"No! No, you can't go." Isabella panicked, placing her glass of water down on the table, "She doesn't want anyone to know. You- You can't say anything, please."

"I have to say something, Isabella." Amanda reasoned calmly, "Tory doesn't have anyone else—"

"She has me!" Isabella interrupted in frustration, "If you go and tell everyone that I told you about this, then Tory won't have me either. She'll hate me again. We've come so far and I don't... I can't do it again. I can't fight her anymore."

"You won't have to," Amanda explained, "I just need to find her, okay? We'll sort something out. She can't live with her little brother alone."

Isabella shot back, "Then she'll live with me."

Amanda sighed, "You're mom has a baby on the way. Johnny told us about the sewage pipe, and I—"

"It's fixed now." Isabella retorted, "Did you just make me tell you this so you could ruin things even more?"

"No. No, of course not." Amanda said, "I'm trying to help. Isabella, she can't live alone. Surely, you want what's best for her, too."

"Of course I do." Isabella exclaimed, "That's why she has to become captain. She'll win the Sekai Taikai and her life will be good again. Tory won't win if you do anything. She has to win this."

Amanda hesitated, "You were going to purposefully lose for her, weren't you?"

"Why would I not?" Isabella retorted, "Tory is actually a good person. She would've gotten into college if it wasn't for probation. She deserves a second chance."

"And you don't?" Amanda asked, "Isabella, you can't sacrifice your life for hers. You're a good person, too."

"A good person would save someone's life." Isabella shot back.

Amanda sighed, "What happened with Tory's mom wasn't your fault, Isab—"

"You weren't there." Isabella disagreed, "I stopped giving her CPR when the paramedics arrived. I could've kept going to help her... but I stopped! I could've tried harder and—"

"No." Amanda said sternly, "I won't let you think like that, Isabella. It was a tragic accident... and you just happened to be in the middle of it. That doesn't make it your fault." She paused, "You're still so young. You can't delay your life because of this. I know you're not applying to college, but there's—"

"I'm trying to apply for a medical school." Isabella said.

"Medical school?" Amanda repeated, "Do you want to do that?"

Isabella hesitated, "No."

"Then, why—"

"Because I'm trying to repay for the life I couldn't save!" Isabella raised her voice, "If I save other people, I'll make up for what I did."

Amanda shook her head, "You can't punish yourself for something you didn't cause."