Ballerina

Mistakes

I get home at 3:00pm to find Harry staring at a baby magazine.

"Harry what the füçk are you looking at and why?"

He hides the magazine behind his back and grins.

"Nothing."

"I am not blind Mr. Styles and we are NOT having a child, do I make myself clear?"

"Baby, everyone has babies."

"We aren't everyone."

Harry drops the mag and storms off to the spare room, slamming the door behind him.

I find myself retrieving the pages of fluffy babyness and taking it with me to the sofa. I open it to a page on baby clothes. I stare at the tiny pink mittens, blue bobble hats and pictures of newborns.

I slam the magazine shut and throw it to the floor.

I will not become a Mum.

Ever.

"Harry!"

"What?"

"Get your butt out here now!"

"No."

I huff and wander into the spare room.

Harry is sitting on the floor, stroking a tiny pink sleep suit.

"Harry?"

I crouch beside him

"What?"

"I love you."

He stands, sleep suit in arms, and leaves the flat.

I'm just finishing ordering a Dominoes takeaway when Harry arrives back.

"At last, I thought you had left me for good!"

"Relax, I just went to get your pills."

"Pills?"

"Birth control."

"Shít, shįt, shīt!"

I run to the bathroom medicine cabinet and pull out my box of magic pills that stop me from granting Harry's wishes.

The entire packet is still concealed. Over 3 months of the sacred tablets have not been taken.

"You've been using condöms every time right?!"

"Well no..."

I show him the full box.

"Oh..."

At that moment a rush of acid surges to my mouth.

I don't reach the bathroom in time, I vomit up what feels like my entire insides all over the lounge carpet.

When I have finished I sit shaking against the wall.

"Hey baby"

Harry shushes me and strokes my back.

"Get me a test."

"Ok love."

Harry leaves me with the foul stench of vomit burning my nostrils.

There is a ding on the call box and I let them up, knowing it will be the food.

The cute lift boy brings a squealing delivery girl to my door.

"Hey Nathan." I manage a small smile.

"Hi Mrs. Styles."

He blushes and grins.

"OH MY GOSH!!! I'm your biggest fan! I have all your stuff, and Harry's!! I ADORE you both! I'm so glad I got this job!!!"

I sigh, take the pizza box, grab a pen and paper, give her my autograph and the money, then slam the door on her and sink back into the comfy sofa.

I wrap a blanket around me and wait for Harry to get back.

16 minutes later, Harry rushes through the door, arms laden down with bags of the best, most expensive pregnancy tests money can buy.

"I got a few, just to be sure."

I roll my eyes, grab one test and head to the bathroom.

I take the test and place it on the worktop with the packet covering it.

I am presented with a slice of pizza when I emerge and realise that I am starving. I nibble at it anxiously until it and 5 minutes are gone.

I take Harry's hand and he leads me to the bathroom.

Under that packet are the few words which will determine the rest of my life.

"You look, I can't."

I look away as Harry removes the packet

I hear a gasp and a smile spreads across Harry's face.

"12 weeks pregnant."