Pan's Tiger

Chapter 6: Let's Play

'Play?' I mumbled shyly, 'I love games, Peter Pan, if you remember...' I said more confidently than I felt, but taking a step back to confidently stand my guard.

'Of course I do,' Peter mused and then turned to say mostly to the Lost Boys than me, 'And it was for that very reason, Tiger Lily, that I married you.'

When I had arrived in Neverland on the Jewel of the Realm, only Felix seemed to know that I was married to Pan, but now all of the Lost Boys seemed to know. It made me wonder why Pan decided to tell all of the Lost Boys.

Hoping he would let me go after he realised I wasn't willing to cooperate with everything, I continued, 'Oh c'mon, we were adults then.' I protested, reminding him of his advanced age spitefully. 'There were no games then, it was because Malcolm loved me and cared for me. Games may make you like me more now, but they didn't make you marry me then.'

'That's right we were older, but I was never an adult.' Peter Pan mused, looking out into the middle distance theatrically. 'I was never a boring adult, and neither were you, otherwise I wouldn't have fallen in love with you, right boys?'

They all whooped and cheered mockingly. I put my hands on my hips and pouted, annoyed that he had wiped out his entire adulthood, including me, the memories, falling in love with each other, our life together, our house, our jobs and even our son. 'Don't be afraid to grow up, Peter Pan. It's only a trap if you forget how to fly.'

Pan laughed, 'And that, Tiger Lily, is why I became Peter Pan: because I forgot how to fly.' He looked almost sad for a brief moment, but he snapped from his mourning into joy again, 'But I never forgot how to play games and have fun.'

'I don't want to play any of your stupid games just to humiliate me.' I protested angirly.

'That was our deal, wasn't it? Become part of the Lost Boys as Lost Girl.' He reminded me, his eyes widened in amusement. I pouted, unsure of what to say. He took a step closer to me, smiling like Malcolm did. Only when his eyes shone with a mixture of pure happiness, sorrow and regret, with his sad smile only ever shown to me, did I ever see my husband in Peter Pan.

'I know.' I spat, ashamed and angry at myself. I felt sickened by this and by our agreement, remembering why I had promised myself never to make deals with him again. Yet, I stood up taller, not letting him see how I truly felt at the notion of becoming a Lost Girl. I was a strong warrior and I was certainly not weak.

'Well, Lost Boys never humiliate each other on purpose, our games are purely for fun, not bullying, except if its fun bullying.' Peter Pan added softly, making a subtle connotation to my adulthood. I remembered our time together when I finally told him about my real past, not the past he played a part in when he dreamt of Neverland. I told him I was bullied by them, so Malcolm promised never to allow bullying again. The Lost Boys seemed to realise this, sniggering with each other.

'I suppose they would, otherwise we both knew I wouldn't be part of it.' I replied stubbornly and he smiled approvingly, realising he had won the debate with lies. I had seen the Lost Boys and that they would fight one another, losing meant humiliation just because everyone watched you fight. Peter Pan took care of the Lost Boys, if he didn't then I would hate him even more, but he did allow them to be humiliated so that they became more ruthless and unforgiving.

'So is that a yes, you will play our games with us?' He mused, raising an eyebrow curiously. I thought for a long moment, lulling the thoughts calmly through my mind. 'You will become a Lost Girl and equal to a Lost Boy, respecting the games we choose.'

'Fine, I mean it's not like I have a choice.' I snapped angrily, folding my arms in front of my chest. Pan narrowed his eyes, but they weren't threatening. They were reminding him that he would accept me, but the Lost Boys would be less accepting of a girl who was snappy and didn't seem to want to be there. 'I mean, if it's a game your playing, why wouldn't it?'