𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔 ... 𝘁𝘄𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 (𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝘅 𝗼𝗰)

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆: 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍𝒔

( minor TW: depictions of a panic attack )

She scoured through the aisle of chips and candies thoroughly, checking the expiration dates and brands to make sure she would pick something correct. She had her headphones over her ears that were attached to the Walkman she had been given when she was six (and hadn't bothered to get rid of) and was listening to a custom mixtape that she had made on her own in the early 2000s.

The song that blared in her headphones was The Cure's In Between Days and the lyrics helped her focus on her task as well as calm her down from the brief encounter she'd had with Javi just five minutes ago.

Goddamn him, she thought bitterly with a shake of her head. Who was he to accuse her of leaving him when he was the one that ditched her first? She wouldn't forget having to wake up in the cramped apartment that they had once shared together and discovered that he was gone. Not a single trace of a note or phone call. She had been forced to call her mother, to which she had been told that Javi had taken off to register for the military, leaving her alone to deal with the sobering process.

Yeah, goddamn him. She didn't need him. She was healed now.

Mostly.

Maria came back to reality and grabbed a bag of sour cream and onion chips and then a bottle of coke before heading up to the register to check out. She tapped her foot patiently while the male cashier rang her items up, a little surprised that it was only a few bucks. Then again, she was in the middle of nowhere in Oklahoma, so it made sense for things to be cheaper at this gas station.

"Will that be all for you, ma'am?" the cashier asked.

"Can you add a pack of Marlboros with that?" she replied with a light smile. "Any kind is fine."

The cashier nodded and grabbed a regular pack of cigarettes to ring up. Afterwards, Maria threw a ten dollar bill on the red surface and thanked him, stuffing the cigarette box into her pocket and grabbing the leftover change before leaving the building. Once she was outside, she climbed onto the bed of Tyler's truck and withdrew a single cigarette from the box, igniting it with her spare blue lighter and inhaling a deep lungful of smoke.

Her fingers slowly began to ease their trembling as she blew out the puff of smoke, creating a transparent gray cloud in the air for a moment before it vanished. She pushed all the stress to the back of her mind as she continued draining the cigarette of its tobacco, finishing it within less than two minutes before putting it out on the sole of her shoe and tossing it to the ground.

She then hopped down from the bed of the truck, removed her headphones, paused the mixtape, and walked over to Lily and Dani, who had a small table of t-shirts lined up for the crowd to take. Her fingers lightly brushed against the table and it was then that she realized she needed to repaint her nails, the black polish on them already beginning to chip and peel.