Do You Love Me?

Love Lies

*A/N- Grab your snacks and get comfy. We're in for a wild ride. Happy reading! Enjoy!

Sometimes, the people we think love us the most are the ones who rip us apart the hardest.

I thought he loved me. I thought he cared for me. In my mind, he was doing everything for me because he wanted us to last. I didn't know how wrong I was until it was too late.

Love lies.

Roger was gentle in the beginning. He would send me flowers, take me away on romantic weekends, and he would plan elaborate dates for us. Once I quit my job as manager, everything switched. It was slow and subtle. I should've seen the signs. I should've known.

When people grow up, as I did, it can make it hard to know what's right in certain scenarios.

For me, women have always been made to be inferior to men. My mother would always tell me, "Obey them, and they will provide for you. They have all the control. If they hurt you, then you deserved it. Do better. Be better." She made it seem like the man who cared for me would be in charge. They would have full control, and I needed to be a good little housewife for them.

Those words were drilled into my mind. The constant echoes, "Do better... Be better... You deserve it..." I started to believe it.

Stay quiet. Stay still. He owns me. All of me. Whatever he wants, he is allowed to take. Whatever he needs, I have to provide it for him.

I've always hated parts of myself and tried to keep them hidden as much as possible. I grew up in a strict, religious house, so most of my views stem from that. One mother and one father, never two of the same. Men control the house. Women should be dainty, delicate, and dress up for their partners. They should be quiet and take care of the house. "Please your husband, or someone else will."

The thought of it all just seemed to disgust me, but I never knew why.

It was easy to get Roger happy in the start. To keep him that way, and to make sure he wouldn't leave, I had to get him into my bed. But now... it was growing exceedingly harder to keep him out of it.

Everyone thought I was doing it for the money or a better position. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some truth to that, but that wasn't my only reason for pursuing him. I needed someone who would provide for me and would take care of me if something bad were to happen.

I just never expected for Roger to be my something bad.

I didn't even realize how bad it had gotten until I met her.

Vivian.

One of the parents at the nursery. She was newer, a nurse, divorced, and only had one child. I think his name is Jamie. He's quite a cute little boy and very sweet to the other children. Only a few encounters with another little boy in his class, but Jamie never starts it.

Vivian was the only one who noticed immediately that something was wrong with me. Roger, or Mr. Persistent as she calls him, kept blowing up my phone with calls and messages. She had to have recognized the look I had from watching the messages appear. She understood a little too well what was happening in my relationship, and I think that's why she's been trying so hard to connect with me.

There's something that draws me to her. I'm not sure if it's just because she's friendly even after knowing how awful I was when I worked at the nursery that draws me to her.

No, I think it's because she sees... me. She doesn't look at me and see evil. For some reason, she looks at me and sees someone that needs help. Vivian notices me and shows me kindness because she can sense I don't receive it anywhere else. I'm just not so sure I deserve it.

It sounds crazy when I say it out loud, but I'm not so sure that's a bad thing...

The universe kept throwing her in my path, and I think I'm finally tired of fighting it. That has to be the reason I agreed to have a meeting with her. A sit-down, hour long, just us meeting in the nursery. Away from my phone and Ro- Mr. Persistent. Time to myself and with someone I can be open and honest with.

How honest am I supposed to be? What is she going to ask me? Why has she chosen me of all people to be friendly with? Did I deserve this kind of attention?

This just all feels like something that would normally happen to Marjorie or Charlotte.

It's hard for me to trust this situation because, in my mind, she's only being nice in order to get something out of me.

What does she want? Is this all just a trap?

Oh no... what's Roger going to do if he finds out? He's going to... I have to get out of here.

"Hey, where do you think you're going? I know I'm a couple minutes late, but the coffee shop was packed." Viv walked into the family room and started to talk to me.

My anxiety levels went through the roof, "I, um, I have to -"

"You don't have to do anything. Your schedule shows you're supposed to be here." She walked over to sit next to me and handed me my coffee. "Relax. It's just a meeting, and you said you have those all the time. He won't know as long as you don't tell him."

Why is her smile so warm? Why is she so friendly? What is this feeling in the pit of my stomach? It's warm and bubbly, not like anything I've felt before.

"I hope they got your order right. I'm half convinced I grabbed the wrong cups since I was trying to get here so fast," she laughed.

Her laugh...

I took a sip trying to settle myself and get on with this meeting. "Tastes great. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, shall we get started?"

I sat the cup on a nearby table and pulled out the notepad I brought in to jot down any questions or concerns she may have. "Where should we start? Do you have any questions regarding the nursery or its staff?"

She laughed, "It's not really that type of meeting. You won't be needing that, " she said, taking the pad out of my hands and setting it away from us.

I couldn't help but play with my hands and fix my hair. Why am I so nervous?

"So, how about we start with you?" My eyes jumped back to her. "Tell me something about you that no one knows. It can be anything."

Where should I start?

She spoke softly now. "Don't worry. Whatever you say stays in this room. Trust me," she winked.

Why did she have to do that? It had me feeling like I... no. That's crazy... I'm not... no.

Am I?