It's colder than usual today, I know crazy to say living up here in Greenland, but once you're here you learn about all the different types of cold there are. The air could be chilly with a hint of sunshine, it could be cloudy with a thick fog in every direction, or it could be like today, the air thin, the sky all white with snow knee high.
You'd swear we breathe this stuff out with how much of it there is, it makes walking, even in our own backyard, a tug of war between you and an army of snow flakes. But even so days like these always excite me, mom is baking, dad is readying the grill under the awning, it's cold days like this that me and Billy love.
Anderson is another reason, the boy next door. I know what you're thinking, not another one of those boy next door crushes, this one is different. He looks at me different, he likes me back and today, he said he'd give me something that'll make it all better, see different."Nora..." Agggh Billy, he's always so loud when he calls for me, I always have to run from him to get any alone time with Andy, do you like it? The name, only I call him An..."Nora!!"... How he interrupts even my inner thoughts will always be a mystery.
I've been dragging my feet through this snow for a while, he's probably following behind me, but he's lazy, he'll get tired eventually, even 7 year olds run out of energy don't they. I'm walking towards the river just past the forest, Andy and I always meet up there.
Did I mention how dreamy he is. Cold blue eyes with long blond hair, his body is ripped for a 16 year old, and best of all he's taller than me. His hands are huge and they fit perfe.... "NORA".... Aghhh he's still at it. I'll drag myself faster, I'm only a couple trees away from our spot, time moves so fast when he's on my mind.
It's snowing, it's so dreamy, a new romantic look to today, it's going to be perfect. There he Is, Anderson, even his name is as perfect as he is, he's smiling at me, the butterflies in my stomach thaw out of the ice they layed in and fly rampent in my tummy. "Hey Nora"... Ahhhh... The way my name just rolls off of his... oh my, I should say something back to him. "Hey Andy". He's smirking at me, can he read all my thoughts? Does he know how nervous he makes me?
His hand moves into his jacket and he takes out a box, it's not wrapped in any kind of wrapping, it's torn and looks rancid, nothing fitting of my Andy. He hands me the box, it can't be that bad can it?. I open the box and a beautiful silver Elina necklace isn't what's staring back at me, no jewels, letters or a set of roses. Just a rusty old knife, a knife covered in bumps and grooves, and the the blood of what I assume is a king eider, we usually hunt them for snowy days like this.
"Why are you giving me your hunting knife"...... My smile fading as I ask him, "I want you to join me". Join him? "In what?"....... "They told me I couldn't be with you cause of your parents, and we fought and fought, but uncle Luca told me I could be with you if I did it, so I did, he said all that'll be left was for you to do the same and let go of them".
Wait what "Who is they and what did he do to them, and who should I be letting go of, what's going on Andy"...."Nora!!!" that little brat followed me here, now I'll have to apologize to Andy. "He's here, that makes it easier". Wait makes what easier, how does my brother being here help make things easier.
"Should I do it or will you?" he looks at me and glances at the knife, he's not talking about stabbing my brother is he, why would he, I'm reading into things too much, Andy isn't that type of guy. "What do you mean?" I ask him confused about everything going on, the wind picks up, and the snow is starting to build.
"We're running out of time, you want to be with me don't you? " of course I do, I want to be with Andy, even if my parents say he's bad news, he makes me happy "I want to be with you" I shout excitedly. "Good" he grabs the knife and walks towards Billy.
I don't know what got in me but I grabbed him, I held onto his arms and when he turned around I slapped him......Did I really just slap Andy, he's gonna be so mad at me, will he still like me, why did I even slap him, he's just going to show off the knife to Billy, it's a boy thing isn't it?
He looks at me, his blue eyes colder than usual, the expression plastered on his face, blank and empty, he's never looked at me like this before. He turns his body towards me and walks right into me, holding me with one hand wrapped around me. I knew it, he loves me, there's no way Andy would do anything bad, he loves me.
I feel a warm liquid pouring into my boots, it spreads onto my clothes and wraps my stomach in it's warmth. Am I sweaty? Nervous from Andy being so close to me, I knew he made me feel anxious but not like....'cough', oh no I just coughed on him, how embarrassing of me.
"Why did you have to stop me", his voice brings warmth to my ear, my body feels cold, colder than usually, the words somehow mumble out of my mouth "I'm sorry" he let's go of me as I fall onto the snow and runs as quick as it'll let him.
It's dark, so dark, I feel so alone, I was just with Andy, he was holding me, his warmth was everything, but now I'm cold and alone. I see flashes of a very windy and heavy snow storm, it doesn't look safe for anyone to be outside.... Outside? Wasn't I outside with Andy and Billy, I hope we made it home before the storm.
It smells refreshing now, a pleasant smell, it reeks of kids perfume but smells so familiar, maybe something Billy would put on. That annoying brat must've put on too much again. But why would I have his scent on me now.
I get flashes of a hand wiping snow from my face, dragging me through the storm, telling me I'll be okay. A weird dream, a vision perhaps, his voice is so clear but I can't point out who he is. It's dark again, it's so quiet, the noise from the Strom is usually louder than this, I wonder why I can't hear anything at all.
It flashes, red and white, a light, I'm not sure what for, it feels so crowded but I can't see anything next to me. A dim siren plays in the background while I feel my body in motion, a car? Couldn't be. It goes black again. And now it's blue, florescent, the color of indoor lights, I see white robes dancing around me, I've never had a dream like this. I can't move or speak, they have no faces or voices either, another nightmare? Maybe.
It goes black, this time for a long time. I wake up, finally, it feels like it's been forever since I've seen anything, since I've seen Andy, I miss his face. I feel weak, my body unable to lift me fully, the nurse comes to assist me. "She's awake!". "Owww", my stomach, it hurts, a sharp pain I've never felt before, and a nurse......wait, am I in hospital, what happened, I was just with Andy and Billy.
I look to my right I see my mom, her eyes baggy and black, it looks like she's been crying a lot. My dad a blank expression, it feels so familiar, like I've seen it before "It's all your fault", He says as he storms out of the room. My mom bursts into tears... and "What's my fault?" I unintentionally say out loud, the room is cold, everyone has a dreadful look to them, "What happened to me, did you call a baby sitter for Bill? He's not here bothering me".
My mom sobs uncontrollably, the nurses escort her out and I finally manage to sit up, my head hurts and my body feels like it's been pumped full of drugs, I can barely move without pain, I need answers. The doctor requests for one of the nurses to tell me everything, the look he gives me, the same as my father, cold and empty, a look I'm not used to.
The nurse starts to tell me what happened, about the surgeries they had to perform to save me. She told me how lucky I am to be alive and that I wouldn't be if it wasn't for him. I had a stab wound right below my rib and somehow I'm still here breathing.
A stab wound!!! Where would I get a stab wound from, I was with Andy and Billy.....more importantly who is this guy that saved me, I wonder if it's Andy, if not is he just as dreamy.... "Can I thank him, the person that saved me?", "No, he's no longer with us" she says, holding back her tears, I've yet to see a nurse lose her composure so easily.
"I don't understand why I can't get his number to thank him if he left, he did save my life after all." I look back to where my mom sat, she left a little pamphlet. I reach out to take a look at it, the pain worsening on my side as I lean over.
"He was a hero" it read, an adorable picture of Billy from his first grade dance, and a smile so wide you'd swear he just took over the whole world, his scent suddenly hit me, the smell of cheap children's perfume that he'd always have on, but why now.....Wait was i......
I turn the page and there it is in bold, big and loud for all to read "Rest easy Billy", a date of birth and a date for what I know now was 3 weeks ago. Billy, it all makes sense now. Now I know that it was all my fault.
