Cheer Up, Captain

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I knew I shouldn't do this because duh? Girlfriend na ako, so bakit ko ico-compare ang sarili ko sa non-girlfriend? But I kept on thinking about that scene in the court. Bakit ba siya tumatawa? I mean, unless she's insane, ibig sabihin close sila ni Finley, right? Kasi if not, bakit naman siya tatawa? Is she crazy?

But my annoying fingers have a mind of their own.

I clicked on her profile.

Ugh.

Fine.

She's pretty and she seems cool... but pretty and cool din naman ako! Saka based sa sinabi sa akin, naging partners na sila sa dance dati pa... If type siya ni Finley, e 'di sana siya ang girlfriend ngayon.

Right.

Right!

Finley was right—mamamatay ako sa sama ng loob.

I was already planning my apology na kay Finley. Parang first time niya lang kasi mag-ask sa akin ng anything tapos hindi ko pa nagawa. He literally just asked me to take an interest in him and the things that he liked...

But as I was drafting my apology in my head, bigla kong nakita na nagkaroon ng IG Story iyong account ni Janine. I knew I shouldn't look at it. I was just fueling the crazy in my head! Yet I just found myself viewing her story anonymously. Bakit kasi hindi siya naka-private?! Ayan tuloy, nakita ko!

I knew I shouldn't have looked at it.

She posted a selfie of her and Finley with a caption Congrats, Captain! Finley was just looking at the camera. He looked kinda pissed for whatever reason. Well, at least same kami ni pissed.

Tsk.

Selfie pa sila d'yan.

Kaya ko rin naman magselfie with Finley.

Ugh!

Why did I keep on making myself feel bad?!

* * *

I forced myself to sleep early because I really couldn't stay awake for any more second. I knew I would just be thinking about Janine against my will. I even turned off my phone and just wore my airpods kahit wala namang tunog doon. I was thinking na baka biglang pumunta si Finley dito. I knew he has keys since this was still his place, but hindi naman siya pumapasok dito without knocking.

I knew na if he knocks, I'll definitely open the door for him.

And I really wasn't in the right headspace to talk. I knew I was in the wrong here. Ayoko lang magmukhang super immature sa harapan niya. We could talk tomorrow when my mind's cooled down a bit. For now, I'd freaking sleep.

When I woke up, I immediately grabbed my phone. I didn't know what I was expecting, but I saw no new message from Finley. I stared at our message thread. The last message was from him—the one that I left on read.

Oh, god.

I screwed up.

I remember he told me in New York that he wanted 'communication.' Na ayaw niya ng pinapa-hula siya kung ano iyong problema. I mean, sasabihin ko naman sa kanya! Not last night lang kasi masama iyong loob ko sa Janine na 'yon pati sa selfie nila!

Ugh!

Ako naman may gusto nito. Ako naman nagsabi sa kanya na lowkey kami. If it were for Finley, for sure alam na ng buong school na kaming dalawa.

I chewed on my lower lips as I kept on typing and erasing the messages. Ano ba kasi ang sasabihin ko sa kanya? Should I just apologize... or should I lie and sabihin ko na may headache ako yesterday kaya hindi ako naka-nood? But I didn't want to lie!