Sacrificial

Chapter 14: Where to Train for Death

I wake, my head dripping in sweat. I grab my chest. I am panting, trying to catch my breath, but it is completely gone. Where am I? I glance around the room. My hands shaking. I can feel my whole body vibrating. Where am I? What's going on? What's happening? "Five," I whisper. "Five things I did yesterday. I woke up. I talked with Miria. I got dressed. I moved back into the Guillotine. I'm back. I'm alive. And I am back." I pull my hands from my chest. I watch them shake before trying to hold them together. I squeeze them shut, opening them, closing them, and then opening them one more time.

I get dressed and walk down the stairs into the living room. I look out the window and get lost to time. "You are up bright and early. Are you ready for your picture?" Harlin asks. I turn to look at him. "Though you hardly look bushy-tailed."

"Thrilled," I say, giving him one of the most enthusiastic voices I can muster. I even push out my chest and place my hands on my hips as I do it. I am thrilled, Lazar. I know I can kill anyone and look great doing it. Just you wait and see.

He pours himself a drink. "Do you want something? It might calm your nerves." He turns to Attikus and says, "You're welcome to have some, too, might calm your nerves down too. You have been drilling me with five thousand questions. Might help take out the stick in your ass." Maybe he plans on living. He plans on doing what none of us can.

"You must be keeping the whiskey business running all on your own," I say, looking back toward the window. He doesn't say anything and just takes a sip of the drink.

"Do you want to ask him something?" Attikus asks, glancing over his shoulder toward me. He is probably looking to see what a Survivor would ask another if they were going back in.

I cross my arms over my chest. "She's not going to ask me anything," Harlin says before sipping his whiskey. Harlin sits down in the chair across from me. I glance at him. I even open my mouth but realize I don't have the energy to argue. Nor the care. He can think what he wants. It's never changed. "Honestly, I'm just happy she entered her quippy phase early. It will make this fun." I turn to look at him. "Don't give me that look. Do you know how insufferable the guy you were with was?"

"Did you ever think I was contemplating my impending doom?" I ask, turning back toward the window.

"You were the broody one. Usually, it's the guys. However, you weren't just broody." I turn back to look at him. "You were also shy." I shrug my shoulders. "This time, it's all broody," he tells me. I roll my eyes. Like he doesn't know why. I'm just not burying it all in a bottle. "You want to tell me something different." I shake my head and turn back toward the window.

Miria walks into the room. "Good morning, everyone," she says, her voice too chipper for the morning. "We're on every channel." I can hear her clap her hands together a few times, though I am unsure exactly who or why she is clapping for them. But she claps them with such enthusiasm that it is hard not to follow in her footsteps, for most.

"Does that mean people liked us?" Attikus asks, looking toward Mira. Before his eyes land on me. Us? As if they could truly love me for anything more than a stupid title they gave me that means nothing to me or them.

"Darling, they absolutely loved you," she says, kissing him on both of his cheeks. I can agree with that. I am sure they did. Him and that daring smile. He will make the girls fall. He will make them all care even when I cannot. And she seems to be aware of it, too. "You are all they are going to be talking about." It seems he is all she is talking about now and probably will be for a while. I hear her feet heading toward the table as she continues to throw out how excited she is everyone is talking about us. She sees that none of us has followed her. "Come, come," she says, waving her hands toward us. "My Sacrifices need to eat before they continue to shine."